Christmas 2011

Hey everyone! Well, another Christmas season has come and gone! Soon 2011 will be over and we will be rushing in the New Year! We had a great Christmas, very busy, but really great! We did things a little different this year and it worked out really well! Christmas Day is usually a mad dash to make sure we see everyone all on the same day but it usually ends up with everyone tired, cranky, late night driving, and not enough time with our families! Plus, this year Jeff had to work, so that complicated things even more. So on Christmas Day he went to work, I went to Mom's for our traditional Christmas morning breakfast, and this was the year Amber was with her Mom for Christmas morning. After breakfast, Mom, Kevin and I exchanged gifts, then off to the nursing home to see Grandma. Then back to Mom's for lunch with Aunt Vicky and Aunt Valerie, then around 4 I was off to travel the hour & half to my in laws for the night. We usually don't stay the night, but we were SO HAPPY we did! It gave us all plenty of time to eat dinner, open presents, watch TV, play board games, it was great! The next morning we had breakfast and headed back home with the in laws in tow to see what Santa had left for Amber in Jacksonville! It was so much fun!!! I have lots of pictures to post....sometime.....

Caleb even received a few gifts this year. He had a stocking at our house and at my Mom's house, with little lovies and toys. Aunt Valerie gave him a sweet set of bibs, and my great Aunt Carol gave him the softest blanket. AND my brother and his fiance Laura gave him a brown cushy blanket that has a lion on it and they had his initials embroidered in one of the corners. So sweet!! I know he is going to LOVE IT!

Our sweet D. went to visit her family out of state but we were still able to text and talk on the phone over the weekend. We all prayed this visit would go well, and I truly believe our prayers were heard. She had a nice visit and is back home safe and sound.

I can't believe we get to meet them in ten days!!! SERIOUSLY!!??!!?? We are so excited!! I am not really nervous at all, but really really excited!! haha I am a little nervous about the plane ride though. I have only flown one time and that was over 5 years ago, and I was really sick with a sinus infection and double ear infection at the time and it was NOT PLEASANT! So bad that we seriously contemplated renting a car and driving back from NY. (Remember that trip Shannon?) But since I have a cold now, I am really praying that it will be gone by the time we board that plane! You can tell I'm nervous about flying because I think I have been to United Airways and TSA websites daily making sure I don't miss anything. I have looked at our flights and car rentals several times also, I am just afraid something will happen and we will miss this trip. We can't miss this trip! I can't wait to hug D!!! I just adore her so much, like an old friend. I can't wait to visit! I'm also looking forward to being the house guest to a special friend! (Hi Briana!)

Oh and we finally made it to the 3rd trimester!! Yippee!!! D. is doing well and feeling good and has already had braxton hix contractions. Eek, I am so nervous about delivery day! I know it's not possible for me to take her pain, but I truly wish I could! I hope it is physical as easy a labor as possible. That's a dumb statement, I know. Anywho......

This is all so wonderful and we feel so very blessed to be on this journey. On Christmas I really took time to reflect that after all this time, this will be our very last Christmas without Baby Clayton. I have no idea what I did in life to deserve such goodness, kindness, blessing, gift.

Caleb is not the only thing growing......

Hi! Thanks for reading!! Thing are going great here! I know I have said it before, but things are going so much better than I ever could have dreamed of! Love how God does that!!! As the title implies,Caleb is not the only thing growing around here. Our relationship with D. is blossoming every day. We now not only email daily, but text as well. And today we talked on the phone for nearly 35 minutes. And it was EASY!!! It was so easy and comfortable! We talked about work (we both work at credit unions), we talked about Christmas shopping (we both love to shop), we talked about Caleb (we both love him), it was just EASY and FUN! She texted me after we talked and said I had the most calming voice and she could talk to me for hours! I feel the same way! Her and I have so much in common, even little things, it is really interesting!

Little Caleb will be 25 weeks tomorrow and as of last Monday was measuring a week ahead of schedule which puts his due date at March 21st. D's bday is March 22nd so that's the date we are pulling for! Her doctor (who is very supportive of the adoption) has said she would induce at 39w if she had started dilating on her own. We don't care when, just as long as they are both healthy!

In just a few weeks we will actually get to meet! We are beyond excited! The plane tix have been purchased, the rental car has been reserved. We will be staying with some new friends who also adopted just a few short months ago! I am so very thankful for them and so excited to spend the weekend in their home!! What a blessing! (Hi Brianna :) )

We still have not heard any additional info on the birthfather, as far as we know he has not made contact again with the agency. We continue to bathe this in prayer and would appreciate if you would also.

So lots of people ask me what our relationship is like with D....... It is beautiful. It is compassionate. It is selfless. It is fun. It is sharing.

I thought I would copy just a few pieces of some of her emails. I hope you can hear her heart and know...like we know....that we will have a son in a little over three months.

"Please don't ever hold back your excitement about Caleb! To be honest, it helps me to hear that and it brings such joy and peace to my heart! There is no pressure whatsoever! Seriously! I hope this doesn't sound heartless but I KNOW in my KNOWER that God is calling You and Jeff to raise this sweet and precious life. And for me to back out or change my mind would be in disobedience to the Lord and I am DONE with not being obedient! :o) Like I have said before, I will never have to worry about Caleb. I will think about him daily and pray for him but I know that he is where he is supposed to be. And that is with you, Jeff,, and Amber. I love you and your family so much and am SO THANKFUL that there is so much excitement and love for him already! It is very healing for me to know that and see that! I am getting chocked up in typing this. Wish I could just hug your neck!"

 

"I get emotional thinking about handing Caleb to you but not in a sad way..just a rejoicing emotion.. more of a thought that WE MADE IT! Haha. To be this blessing for you and Jeff and Amber is quite a blessing for me as well! I am learning and growing through all of this! I bet y’all are too! How could you not? I appreciate y’all being so easy going about Caleb’s birthday. It really is just a sigh of relief! But I too want to help make that day special for you guys in every way I can. This is YOUR big day too! You’re getting to meet your son, love on him, and all of those wonderful things! I am so thrilled for you Karen! I really am! This isn’t just about me..I recognize that"

"We really liked the video you sent! Caleb was moving a lot when it was playing! I thought that was too sweet! That was very sweet of them and how wonderful it is to have a church family that is so loving and supportive! That is just like our church! Great song too! Do you still have t-shirts left over? If so, I would love to buy one from you! I think it would be neat to have and that way, I can be that support down here in Texas! :o) "

 

" I love your home! It's so pretty! I think it's awesome that y'all are in your forever home! How cool! Gotta love all that land! Caleb is going to have so much fun!! When I was looking at profiles I wasn't looking at the home or income but really trying to figure out the personalities and wanting to see if God was in the picture. Well based off the first picture that I saw and after reading your letter, I knew y'all were the ones.  The main thing for me is that one, y'all love the Lord and two, that y'all will love this baby no matter what I don't have doubts about any of those things!! God knew all along who he had for you...I never would have thought it would have been me though! Haha But I am truly honored"

 

So, do you now know why I love her so much? :) Looking forward to meeting her in person in just a few short weeks, rubbing on that beautiful belly, hearing his heartbeat at the doc's office, visiting new friends, and spending some time with my honey!

 

Please continue to pray for D. and her family, healthy pregnancy, restoring of relationships, healing, forgiveness, the social workers, travel safeties, whew - maybe just pray for everything!!

 

Love ya'll, Karen & Jeff

 

Lots to share, just not sure where to start!

Lots of exciting things have happened since our last blog post. After our first phone conversation, we received the first set of ultrasounds pics which were from 6w5d and 11w2d. Really neat to look at but they were so early it was difficult to see anything other than a baby blob. :) A week after our phone conversation we received a call from the agency letting us know that all was well, and that our birth mom wanted to give us her email address if we wanted it. Um, yeah, of course we want it! I didn't want to see too eager so I did wait one day before I sent the first email. The first email was simple, "Hope you are doing well", "Thanks for sharing your email address", "Praying for you" things like that. I expected her to write back. What I didn't expect was to receive daily emails, sharing our hopes, dreams, family traditions, humor, concerns, building a beautiful relationship. This is absolutely way better than I ever could have imagined.  We have shared tons of pictures. She sends us pictures of her parents, brothers, pets,  and fave vacation spots. We sent her the same and recent pics from Thanksgiving. Next week she has another ultrasound and will be emailing the sonogram! We also received the 18w sonogram and Caleb is beautiful!! Can't wait to see him in March! She has invited us to visit her and her husband before Caleb is born......so...... in six weeks Jeff and I will board a plane San Antonio bound!! So very excited! They said they want to show us everything SA has to offer! TexMex food, the Riverwalk, even the hospital where the big day will occur! She is in great spirits and has the most awesome attitude. An attitude of thankfulness which is something I was not expecting. She repeatedly tells me that she is so thankful that God chose her and her situation to bless our family. Honored is the word she uses. I can't even describe the love, respect, admiration we have for her. She signs her letters Love, D & Caleb. She reads our emails to him and tells him about us. She says she can't wait for us to feel him kicking! I let her lead when it comes to baby conversation, we want things to be at her comfort level. She is very open to sharing anything. We are both amazed at how many things we have in common!! It is such a God thing! Oh, and they asked if we would go to church with them while we are there! Isn't that awesome?? I am probably going to be an emotional wreck! I can't imagine getting the opportunity to worship with them! So so thankful! So, I think now is a good time to post some of the questions we have been asked lately:

1. Is this too good to be true? No, this is not too good to be true. This special woman, special child, special relationship was orchestrated a long time ago, which is why we waited. We waited for them. It is exactly as it should be. We both have had the most peace since we have been matched. I wish I could share all of the emails so that everyone could hear her heart.

2. What happens now? Now, we soak up every email, every phone call, every skype, every minute that we have together. She does request that after Caleb is born we have a closed adoption, which means we will no longer have any contact. We respect her decision and we have told her that the door will always be open if she chooses to contact us in the future. As much as I am looking forward to holding my son, I am already so sad at the thought of not having contact with her. My heart needs to know how she is doing. She feels this is the best situation for her healing. She is probably right. Please pray for this situation.

3. What's the deal with the birth father? Last week we learned the agency did finally make contact with him after he has not returned their calls and emails. He is due into the office in the next couple of weeks. The agency does not feel there is anything to worry about. In TX, the father can sign termination of rights paperwork before the baby is born. If he does sign, then we will be able to obtain his medical info, if he doesn't sign and he doesn't contest the adoption, then it's still no problem, we just won't get much info about him. Please pray for this situation also. It would be ideal if he would sign as early as possible. One interesting thing is that the agency can not tell him the due date, hospital, gender of baby, or anything of that nature. They also have to inform him that he is listed as a "probable father" since there has been no dna. We are still at peace about this situation but would appreciate your prayers.

4. Do you get to be there when Caleb is born? We have sort of covered this, but not entirely. We are letting her lead on this of course. She has already stated she hopes we can be there when he is born and she really hopes her doctor will induce her so we will have a date (Love her planning spirit!!). Just not sure how involved we will be. We want to be there for her in whatever role she needs us to fill.

5. So what will this baby look like? I have no idea! haha I wish I could see him right now!!! He will be a beautiful mix of races and probably have dark eyes and hair. I hope he's chubby!! haha She said she thinks he is going to be a big baby, so I may be right about the chubbiness. :) Her father is tall at 6'4, so maybe Caleb will get some height also. Who knows??? Who cares?? We pray for health health health! Everything else will just be bonus! :)

Anyway, we are loving life and preparing our home for his arrival! So much to be thankful for!! Feel free to ask any questions that you may have! Thank you for praying!

Love,

Jeff & Karen

Love at first phone call.

Nearly 6 years ago I heard Jeff's voice for the first time on the phone. We had never met in person, but as cliche' as it sounds, he had me at "hello". I loved that southern accent!

Well today we had our first scheduled phone call with our birth mom, and it was love. And admiration. And thankfulness. And amazement at God's miracles. And an incomprehensible amount of respect and courage. Simply put, it was phenomenal.

The call was to take place at 4pm. I was off work today but Jeff had to work, an hour away, so I drove to his work because we didn't want him to miss a thing!

The agency called right at 4pm (our time) and let us know that _____________ and her husband ______ were both in the room and she was going to put us on speaker phone. The social worker had said that they were nervous, well I was nervous enough for everyone! But once we started talking the nervousness melted away. I felt like I was talking to someone I had known for years. The four of us spoke openly and honestly about our hopes and dreams, adoption misconceptions, and miracles. We are completely blown away.

They said they are so very thankful that God is allowing them to be a part of the miracle in our lives! We are the thankful ones!! But they went on. They loved our profile book, loved the silly pictures that I was worried would deter someone from choosing us. Oh they are strong, so very strong. And very confident in their decision. She asked if we had a name chosen, we told her and they loved it. In fact, they have a nephew with the same name. They were also amazed by the amount of things that we have in common.

She has a very good support system and she said her friends wanted to have a baby celebration instead of a baby shower and she asked if we would be ok with receiving gift cards for the baby. Seriously? This situation is more than we could have ever imagined. My God is so huge and so powerful and his plans for us are way better than I could have ever planned or dreamed!

She said Baby Clayton is healthy, kicking up a storm, and does not like for her to sleep on her left side. She will be sending me the 5 month ultrasound soon, oh my goodness, how awesome will that be????

They kept saying they were so thankful that this baby was going to be a blessing. They said they couldn't imagine how hard it has been throughout the years with so many failed fertility treatments. They were caring, and compassionate, and sincere, and I was without words.

She is requesting the adoption be a closed adoption after he is born. She feels at this time that would be best for her. We told her we completely respect her decision but we would be open to communicating if she ever changes her mind.

We talked of the things that she wants him to know. She asked us for one thing. She does not want to be resented. She wants him to know that she loved him, that she will pray for him everyday, and that he was chosen. She has written him a letter which we are to give him as a young adult which will explain his beginning.

We are so thankful they wanted to speak to us. And thankful they want to talk again, next time via Skype!  I have no idea what I did to deserve such blessings.

Please continue to pray for all parties involved.

Adoption Facts, Myths and the desire to change perception one reader at a time.....

This post also comes with a warning. :) After you read this I hope you will be educated on proper terms, adoption language, and common misconceptions. Here's where the warning comes in. You will no longer have an excuse of "not knowing or not understanding" after you say something hurtful. AND you will now have the responsibility of straightening out anyone that comes to you with negative comments or uninformed questions. Are you up for the task? Then keep reading. (Really Really hope you keep reading)

Yes, we have been asked some interesting questions lately. And I'm sure my family and friends have been asked as well, probably more often than we have. There are so many misconceptions about our adoption and adoption in general. Believe me, we had questions in the beginning too, foolish uneducated questions that I am embarrassed to think about now. If you want an answer to something that is not listed below, please let me know so I can add it! We hope to change adoption perceptions one reader at a time.

1. Fiction: Baby Clayton's birth parents are "giving him up", "giving him away".
FACT: They are making a very unselfish, educated, careful, LOVING, difficult decision to place him for adoption into a 2 parent Christian home. A home that can fulfill all of the dreams they have for him.

2. Fiction: They are giving him up because they don't love him.
FACT: Refer to fact #1 and add the following. They deeply, desperately, without a doubt love him. Or they would not be choosing adoption, they would have terminated the pregnancy.

3. Fiction: "I just don't know how someone could do that, I could never do that"......
FACT: You have absolutely no idea what you are capable of until you are ever in that situation.

4. Fiction: The birth family can come back years later and take the baby back.
FACT: This is false. The birth mom cannot sign her relinquishment papers until 48 hours after the baby is born, at that point things are final.

I also know that people are wondering if our birth mom will change her mind. It is her right to change her mind. Is it a possibility? Sure it is. It is a possibility that we could lose our jobs tomorrow. It is possible that we are killed in auto accidents tomorrow. It is possible that we could get stricken with some horrible disease tomorrow. There are so many things that are entirely possible. But, we choose to focus on the present, and not on the possibility that she could change her mind. Can you please be positive with us?

Most people are surprised to know that our birth mom is 26 years old, has a good job, insurance, comes from a 2 parent family, has a college degree, and it beautiful. This surprise comes from people's misconceptions of birth mothers. They are not all teenagers. They are not all strung out on drugs or alcoholics. They are not all single unemployed women who have no idea who the father is. Statistically birth mothers are between the ages of 22 and 30, many are in college or have already obtained their degree, many are simply not prepared to parent at that point in their lives. So they choose something better for their baby because they love them. Dearly.

We are already fiercely protective over our birth mother and our future son. Their are some details you won't read on this blog. You won't read her name. You won' know all of the details of his story. Because it is his story. We have to remember that one day he will grow up and he will need to hear information directly from us when appropriate. Those of you that we are close with and we can trust know many more details.

With all this being said please do not take this to mean that we are not approachable. I would love to talk to you about adoption, I want to encourage others in domestic adoption and perhaps encourage families to pursue adoption. Thank you so much for reading! And please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and comfort and confidence in her decision. XOXO

A very long catch up post!

Yep, this post should include a warning also - this is another very long one! But there is so much to tell so bear with me!

On Friday October 28th  I came home on my 11am lunch hour to find a perfect little package tucked between the two front doors. I carefully brought it inside, and tried to call Jeff on the phone. (He had taken the day off for a celebratory hunt in the woods) :) The night before I asked him to please not open the package without me if he was the one to receive it first. BUT, I did not ask him if I could open it without him! EEK! I knew what the package contained, but I needed to see it, as soon as possible. I stared at it, running my fingers across the pull tab that was calling my name. Please pick up the phone!!! Finally with 15 minutes of my lunch to spare he called. "Open it" he said as though it was silly me to have waited. haha So I grabbed that pull tab and ripped it open! And inside....

I found a letter: "Congratulations, _____________ has chosen you to be the parents of her baby! YES! It was our official letter! The package also included all of the medical records since the first doctors appointment to confirm pregnancy and about 10 sheets of detailed info on our precious birth mom, in her own handwriting. This included info on her parents, grandparents, hobby's, childhood memories, etc. She also spoke openly about her reasons for placing this child for adoption and her future goals. She wrote things that she would want her baby to know in the future. These are things we hold very near and dear to our hearts and respectfully we will not be sharing them on this blog. Bu we will tell you that we both have the most amazing peace. Her confidence in herself radiates. Her love for the Lord is so evident. Her LOVE for this child is beautiful. She is beautiful. The last 2 pages were her widespread smiling face. A frontal view and a side view (insert smile with little baby belly). It was several minutes before I could stop looking at her face long enough to look at the rest of the picture. She has the kindest hazel eyes and the most natural, genuine smile. Like someone we know, like someone we could easily know.

The agency gives adoptive parents 5 days to review the information and make an informed decision. We didn't need 5 days. We knew. There were so many things that we have in common with our BM (birth mom) that we know without a doubt it is a "God thing" And what a beautiful chapter in our journey.

On Monday, October 31st we received a call from the agency at 3:09pm. __________ had had an ultrasound that morning, all are healthy, and we were told she is carrying a BOY! A son, we will have a son. I called Jeff and asked him if he wanted me to tell him over the phone and he didn't want me to wait, so I shared. Honestly, I know allot of men desire to have a son, but Jeff loves his daughter so much, I knew he would truly be happy no matter what. All that being said, he is thrilled! :)

That night Jeff told Amber she was having a baby brother! She hasn't stopped talking about her baby brother! Joy. Simple Joy.

So now I will try to answer some of the most popular questions we have been asked and probably a few that people are scared to ask!

1. "What happens now?" Well, now we wait. haha This waiting is different already because we have such peace. Sometime during the next week ________ will be working with her social worker to determine how she would like to communicate with us. This could be done via email, cell phone, text, or even to meet in person. Or, she could choose not to communicate with us. We really pray that she will like to get to know us more and give us the chance to know her more. I want to memorize as much as possible.

2. "It's so long until March!" Actually, it's not that long. It gives us time to really prepare now that we have a date and know it's a boy. And, it hasn't been as long as it has been. Every day is one day closer.

3. "Can she change her mind?" Yes. Yes she can. That is her right. She can not sign termination papers until 2 days after baby boy is born. It is a possibility, but we choose to not focus on this possibility. And if you are thinking this, please don't say it out loud. Please and thank you. :) Please just pray for her continued confidence and peace in her decision.

4. "Names?" Yes, there is a name. I think we are pretty set on it. Just not ready to share with the entire world yet.

5. "How can I help?" Pray Pray Pray. If you feel led to donate to help with our large expenses you can order one of our homemade cheesecakes for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Or buy one of our few T-shirts we have left. We covet your prayers and will be eternally grateful to all of those friends and family that have felt led to help us bring our baby home. We have been good stewards of your resources and we are so thankful.

This is probably long enough for now. Thanks for reading!

Love ya - Karen & Jeff

Reaction Time....

Warning, this post is probably going to be very long but I want to be able to look back on it for accurate detail. :)

As you read on the previous post, I was the first one to receive the news that we had been picked! I was having a kind of  blah day and was discussing the worlds (ok maybe not the world's) problems with my dear friend and coworker Lora. After I missed the call from the adoption agency I immediately returned their call and this is what I heard:

My social work Colleen "So, how does March in San Antonio sound??"
But this is what I heard "So, how does Madlfjasflksjf;lskfjslkfjaslfkjas - my stupid phone picked THE worst time to cut out! haha After having her repeat it several times I finally understood and I replied "Does this mean what I think it means???? And, the floodgates opened. For me and my sweet friend Lora. It could not have come on a more perfect day. I asked Colleen as many questions as I could between babbling and bouts of shortness of breath. I then attempted to relay everything to Lora, and call Jeff. But he didn't answer, and I am so glad! Next, I quickly attempted to control myself told my Boss the scoop and asked to leave, I had to get home.....

Shortly after 3pm I arrived home to find Jeff relaxing in front of the TV. He asked why I was home early and if I felt OK. I hid my face to him and just said that I wasn't feeling well. I went into the room and took out the shirt I ordered for Amber "Big Sister Amber". I brought it in to the living room and asked him if he thought she would still be able to wear it in March or if I should buy another one. He said..."Um, you will probably have to buy another one!" He wasn't even really paying attention! Just like a man! haha I then just stood there and said "Babe, we got the call" And the tears and the screaming and shouting and the hugging and jumping up and down ensued. One of the best times in my life and I hope I remember it always. We then started to devise a plan to tell Amber and the folks......

Jeff realized it was his parent's wedding anniversary, HOW PERFECT! He casually called them and asked if we could take them to dinner for their anniversary (they live an hour away).  We invited my Mom to join us and they completely fell for it and were looking forward to seeing us. We then waited for Amber to get home from school.....

When we brought her home from her first school dance I told her I needed to talk to her about something, and I tried to have my serious face on. 

Me: "Amber what have we been praying for?
A: Our baby
Me: what about our baby?
A: That we would get picked soon.

Silence. She kept staring at me. And a smile spread across my face. She started screaming "We got picked???? The tears started flowing and she jumped up and down. I showed her the big sister shirt and that pushed her right over the edge, she grabbed it and started fleeing from the room to put it on. Jeff was trying to video tape so we got her back in the room. Such an amazing time.

So this was the plan: Amber put on the big sister shirt and zipped up a light jacket over it. We hopped in the van, picked up my Mom and drove and hour to meet the in laws at the restaurant. Amber was so great!! She didn't not say a peep! I have no idea how she did not burst wide open with Gma Linda siting next to her! I was grateful that Mom could not see my face cause I thought I was going to lose it!

We FINALLY arrived and we all hugged etc "Happy Anniversary" and went inside to find a seat. I sat Amber at the head of the table so they would get a good view of her and then we waited for our cue from Jeff. Ams was kicking me under the table, I was kicking Jeff and trying to get the blessed camera to work without being seen. Finally he said "Hey Amber did you tell your grandparents about that thing.." She smiled as bright as day and stood up and unzipped her jacket to reveal her new shirt! SILENCE! Then, they started to realize what was going on! "Is this for real....does this mean?...... hahahaha So wonderful!!

Surprisingly we made it through the rest of dinner as I was anxious to get outside and call my brother as he was unable to join us. (I bet he would have if he had known it was gonna be a reveal!) He was really excited too! We then proceeded to call the rest of the family and some closed friends. When I called my Aunt Debbie she was watching Jeopardy. I told her I had a good trivia question for her. "What do you think the weather will be like in San Antonio in March?" :) hahahaha

LOVED LOVED LOVED sharing the goodness of God's love with others, Love sharing our miracle and telling others that while we doubted and resisted relinquishing control, God was telling us to patiently wait. How great is our God?

Amber HAD to wear her shirt to school today and tell everyone, she couldn't hardly wait to tell me about it tonight! Thankful for those teachers and administrators who shared in her joy today.

Well, tomorrow I will share about our next steps and the most amazing packet of information that arrived on our doorstep this morning containing our birth mom's profile and picture. I had no idea that I could have so much respect and admiration for someone that I had not even met yet.

Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy for BM and baby. Pray for her confidence in her decision. Pray that our journey would touch the lives of others so that they may realize that God is still very much in the miracle business!

What? You have been kicked?? On your anniversary??

Interesting title huh? I will explain that in a minute, but first, let me start at from a few hours ago.

At 2:39pm our lives changed. Forever. At 2:39pm my cell phone rang, and I missed the call. Can you believe that??

But, also at 2:39pm I returned that missed call. And received the news we have been waiting for.

We have been MATCHED!

Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
Praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
Praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
Praise him with the harp and lyre,
Praise him with timbrel and dancing,
Praise him with the strings and pipe,
Praise him with the clash of cymbals,
Praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Psalm 150

WE HAVE BEEN MATCHED!

Thank you Lord for not giving up on us, even when we were weak and doubting. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness. Thank you for surrounding us with friends and family who have loved on us since the begining of this process.

So details you ask??? :)

Our birth mom is a 26 year old women with a fair complexion and green eyes. She chose our profile because she was looking for a family that had a strong religious foundation. :) She loves us. She is very healthy with no history of substance abuse.

We do not know the sex of the baby yet, but we will find out on Halloween after her ultrasound. :) Her due date at this moment is March 28th, just a few months away!

Yes, we realize that it is several months and that she could change her mind. But as my dear sweet husband said earlier "We are in, we are all in" And yes we are. We will be hopelessly excitedly in love for this baby and birthmom.

Please pray for a heatlhy healthy pregnancy and confidence in her decision. Our happiness can not come without her heartbreak. Lord, please hold her.

On a later date I will share how I told Jeff, how we told Amber, and how Amber told our parents!

Oh, and an explaination about the title of this post.... when I called my NC social worker to let her know that we had been matched in TX, we had a bad connection on the phone.

Me "Dawn, we have been picked"
Dawn "What you are sick?"
Me "No we have been picked"
Dawn "You have been kicked"
Me "We are in wilmington, it's my inlaws anniversary, we have been picked"
Dawn "What, you are sick, on your anniversary??"

HAHAHAHA we finally got it straightened out, but this was great!

Love you all,

Karen & Jeff

There's still time.....

So, I'm not sure if anyone else is interested, but I counted weeks the other day. And we have a little less than 11 weeks left in the year. When I counted that I had a internal debate with myself - positive vs. negative.

Negative - "The is only 11 weeks left in the year, that's not enough time, this year is going to be over before we know it, we have been waiting, blah blah blah"

Positive - "There is still 11 weeks left in the year, that's plenty of time for God to work miracles, wow, I could be of for the holidays on maternity leave, aww a Christmas baby would be awesome, I love cold weather, traveling to TX would be great in the Fall" etc.

You see, last Christmas I really truly honestly felt that last Christmas would be our very last without Baby Clayton home with us. So when I counted the weeks and realized we had 11 weeks till Christmas, I got a little panicky. It's coming way too soon. What if Christmas comes and goes and we still are not matched? Maybe my gut would be way off.

What are time lines anyway? I have wanted a baby my whole life, but officially started trying over 10 years ago. Jeff and I have been married for nearly 4 years. (Yes, people I was married before which is where the ten years comes in)   We have been in the adoption process for 15 months.We have been "paper pregnant" on on the official waiting list for 8 months. Still plenty of room of a miracle within 11 weeks! 

So my praying friends.....we thank you for your continued prayer, we covet them. If you would to pray specifically that we receive a miracle before the end of 2011 that would be awesome too! 

If the 11 weeks come and go and we celebrate one more Christmas without Baby Clayton, we will still be thankful for the blessings in our life, thoroughly enjoy every minute of Christmas, and look forward to the next year with eager hearts! 

Love y'all - Jeff & Karen  

Borrowed this from another friend's blog. I. LOVE. IT.

For all of you that are waiting for something:

by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT

I will praise you in this storm.....

Well, we SURVIVED HURRICANE IRENE!!! We lost a few trees, a bunch of shingles that will require some repair, and a bazillion limbs. We were even blessed when it came to the electricity going out! We had power all of Friday night even though we had a ton of wind and rain. Saturday morning we had breakfast (thanks Mom!), and then the power went out. We were able to open some windows and let the hurricane force winds cool the house, it was actually pretty nice. As the day turned to evening we were forced to light candles and bring out the flashlights. We were debating where we should all sleep when all of a sudden "THERE WAS LIGHT AND IT WAS GOOD!" We were so thankful! This storm could have been so much worse for us had it not weakened slightly before making landfall. That pine tree could have uprooted and landed on the house instead of breaking off near the base and landing only a few feet from the front porch. We could still be without power like so many around us. We could be replacing a roof instead of a few shingles. Thank you Lord for watching over us. We praise you in this storm.

On the adoption front: nothing new to report this week, still waiting. Although I did think a few times that having an infant home during the hurricane with no power would have been a bit stressful! Maybe that was part of God's plan. Also, it is currently between 100 and 110 degrees in San Antonio, where our adoption agency is located. Have I mentioned how much I despise being hot?? Well if not, for the record, I LOATHE being hot! So, maybe this is part of God's plan also. Hmm, I hear San Antonio is nice in the Fall!

This Thursday (if not before) a baby boy will be born to a young girl. Baby boy's adoptive family will be there to welcome him into this world. They have been waiting for this moment for so very long. They have put much thought into some special items for the birth mom, things she can use while in the hospital. Please pray for all those involved with this adoption. Also, this sweet family is also working with our agency, it has been a blessing to get to know her through email, blog, and facebook. We are already talking about meeting when we travel to SA for our baby's birth. Oh happy day! Thank you Lord for putting these special people in our lives.

And here are a few pics of the remnants of Hurricane Irene:

Pine Tree that landed just a few feet from the front porch!

 

Our dog Cooper was ready for the Hurricane!

Pond across the road (has been bone dry all Summer!



Poor old tree!



Look closely, see the gray spot in the middle, that's our house. You can usually have a clear view of the house from this spot. TREES!!

Encouragement

Thought I would share some of my most favorite verses for encouragement, they definitely hit home during this time of wait. I pray they will bring comfort to anyone waiting on the Lord, or anyone going through trials. (Who isn't?) haha

Believing God for anything in life grows and strengthens our faith.  The more we wait for it, the more our faith can grow. God gave us an awesome promise in Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

 "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.  Psalm 37:7 Many times we can get so restless when we are waiting for something.  If you're like me and try to plan everything, then it can extremely frustrating when waiting messes up your plans!  And can be disheartening when you see women get pregnant, unmarried, or those who don't even want children.

"Lord, when doubt fills my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer."Psalm 94:19

"There is comfort in the fact that God does have your child in His Hands. He is the one who formed your child's body and knew your child's days and purpose before conception." Psalm 139:13-16

"The things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair. For these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" H 2:3

Wordless Wednesday

It's a Blog Birthday!

The Pursuit of Baby Clayton blog celebrates 1 year of existence today! I can't believe I actually stuck with it! Not only have I managed to write a couple dozen posts, but I have thoroughly enjoyed it. Something kinda calming about being able to rant, knowing it's out there for the world to read or not read. Our little blog has had over 3,000 visits, yet has only 22 "official" followers. Tons of friends have said they read the blog on a regular basis, but follow anonymously. I have started friendships with other bloggers in the adoption world, which has been a great benefit of blogging. I love to rejoice in their happy news of a baby joining a family, or lifting them up in prayer when an unforseen delay is handed to them. At least 5 times a day I am asked "any news yet?" from coworkers, friends, some of my members at work, etc. I just smile and say "nope, just waiting". I need to come up with something better to say. I'm glad that people ask. I love that people are interested and I know that these folks that say they are praying, are really praying. One of my fave members from work is the sweetest older gentleman, in his 80's and a widower. Love him so much! He comes to see me weekly (under the disguise that he needs account help), but I don't care, I enjoy his company hopefully as much as he enjoys mine. Each week he says "First things first, do we have any baby news?" And each week I say "No, nothing yet" with a smile. He always responds "Well Karen, I must not be praying hard enough, I will pray more specific tomorrow". (Oh, and he is convinced the baby will be a boy)  I adore this sweet man. I hope he is around for a very long time.  

Each week, I send an email to our social worker at the agency just to check in. She is always extremely patient and encouraging although I'm sure my weekly emails are annoying. If they are, she is doing a great job of concealing her annoyance. Yesterday she said they were working with several new birthmoms who had just recently contacted the agency and she hoped we would be chosen soon. Oh boy, me too.

There was some movement on the agency website. Two new families were added to the waiting parents list, and one family was moved from the waiting list to the matched & waiting list. There are currently 12 families on the waiting list, and 4 waiting for babies to be born. On their website they also keep a list of babies they have placed this year. You know I had to count them, ok so I have counted them several times. Today the count was 55 babies placed this year. And for those of you that know I like statistics, you know I had to do the math. That is 6.85 babies a month so far this year. :) That is pretty good odds! I know we are gonna receive a call very soon!

So what else is going on in our family besides adoption? My brother is engaged!! He is engaged to a fabulous woman named Laura, and yes, we LOVE her! She is truly awesome and very good for him! She fits right in, and is already a great Aunt for Ams. I can't wait to see her with new baby Clayton. They are planning a wedding for October 2012, can't wait! She will make a beautiful bride and my brother is going to be so handsome. I'm so happy that he has met his match.

We have had a busy Summer, especially Amber. Vacation Bible School, week of horse camp, week of family vaca in the mountains, a couple of weeks with the grandparents, and she is now spending a couple of weeks with her Mom. I miss her terribly when she is not here. She will be celebrating her 9th birthday next month!!! How could that shy little 3 year old girl I met a long time ago be the same gregarious, outgoing, funny, smart, BEAUTIFUL almost 9 year old??? Scary! While she is gone this week I have performed an Extreme Room Makeover on her bedroom, she is gonna love it! Well, at least I hope she does, cause I'm not planning on painting again anytime soon. :)

Anyway, happy one year blog world! Thanks for all those that have followed our journey this year!

Love, Jeff & Karen

A post about nothing

Hello all......

There is absolutely nothing new to share. No updates, matches, potential matches, etc. But I was told today that I needed to update my blog. So here it is. ha ha

I spoke with our social worker at the agency last week. They do not inform us when our profile is shown, but she did say that our profile is very well liked by all at the agency and that she did not suggest making any changes at this time. They are working with several new birth moms at this time and are busy collecting medical histories, etc and then profiles will be shown. Perhaps our birth mom will be in this new round of activity.

So, please continue to pray for the agency, birth moms, and our family.

XOXO - Jeff & Karen

The weight of waiting.....

It's 4th of July. We really thought we would be holding our little "firecracker" by now. In the 5 weeks or so since our last blog post, not much has happened. The birth families we mentioned last post have chosen families. I suppose those babies were not the babies God has intended for our family. We have not received any new news from the agency. I spoke with them last week to see if there was anything we should do such as updating our profiles or change our pictures, etc. We were told everything looked great and they they are working with several new birth moms and are in the process of collecting their paperwork, prenatal care info, etc. So, maybe, hopefully, wishfully, faithfully, one of these families will be the one we are waiting on.


Jeff and I are both losing steam. We are tired of waiting. I know, that is not the right attitude. Some days are better than others. Some days I hardly think of adoption or waiting or nursery decorating or baby names at all. But other days.....those are the tough times. The days when we are disappointed because the phone has not rung, we have not been chosen, and there is no end in sight for this season of waiting.


At the beginning of the year, we said, Please Lord let it be by Easter. Please let it be by Mother's Day. Please let it be by Father's Day. Please let it be by Fourth of July and so on.


We are more than half way through this year. We have family vacation coming up next week, and we were so so so praying that baby would be here, that we would never have to spend another family vacation without our baby.


Oh Lord I want you to help. While I am waiting, I want you to help me. Help us see that You are neither late nor early. Your timing is always perfect.

Possibilities are endless

Well, once again it has been a few weeks since I sat down to write. Not really tons to tell. We are almost into June, which means we are almost in the month of July. July will be one year since we started this process. I remember that because we took a huge stack of paperwork with us on our family beach vacation last year. It was on that vacation that we told Amber, and then Jeff's parents that we were going to adopt! That was a fun time! We have come a long way since then. Here we sit, all paperwork, home visits, fingerprints, biographies, etc are complete, and we are just waiting. I think this period of waiting is much harder than the previous months, simply because there is nothing for me to do. Those that know me, know that I love a checklist, well, maybe several checklists. I like to add completed items to the checklist just so I have the satisfaction of crossing them off! Yeah, I know that sounds crazy. But I also know there are those of you out there that do the SAME thing! ha ha

In our binder of all things adoption, I have several lists.

People to call when we get the first call
People to call when we get the call that it is time to fly out
People to call to have them help call (think phone tree)
Packing list
List of things to be included in carry-on for plane
List of things that can be in suitcase to be checked

This has been a particularly hard week. Started out pretty exciting but has ended somewhat anticlimactic so far....I guess the week is not technically over yet. (I remain hopefully optimistic)

We usually would not be told when our profile will be shared with birthmoms, but Monday and Tuesday we received emails asking if we would consider having our profiles shown to 2 cases with special circumstances.  One is a baby girl, the other a boy. Both due within 5 days of each other. In 9 weeks. After much thought, prayer, and some research, we said yes to to showing our profiles, knowing that we would receive additional information as it became available. Last word was on Tuesday, that our profile (as well as any of the other 11 waiting families) would probably be shown by the end of the week. We have not heard anything else.

I will say, that we realize why we have been waiting. If we had received a call last year, right after we started this process, we would have said NO to both of these cases. No, that does not make us eager or mean that we are settling, it means that we have opened our eyes to the fact that not all babies are born into perfect circumstances! Not all babies have a smooth start. Sometimes there is risky behavior, sometimes proper pre-natal care is out of reach for these woman. Sometimes, it takes a family to be willing to say YES to change a life. To give a chance. To make a difference. If neither of these families choose us, hopefully they will choose another of the waiting families with our agency. That means 2 more waiting families off the list, but more importantly 2 babies will have their forever homes.

Now, more than ever we know that God is hard at work. Preparing our hearts to be ready when our baby is ready. Please continue to pray for our process, the birth moms, the agency, and us.

Thanks for reading!

In the last 20 days....

On the day after my last post, April 16th, we had several very strong, deadly tornado's leave a path of destruction across our state, including our city. It was devastating, heart breaking, hard to comprehend. All of our family members were safe and had zero damage. Several houses that belong to friends of ours have now all been torn down by the front end loaders cleaning up debris. Here is but one picture:

There was something amazing that came out of this disaster? I was able to witness and be a part of God's people working, loving, cleaning, feeding, clothing to make a difference to victims affected by these storms. We spoke to many people who said "Thank God we are alive, we can replace our things" or "It's by God's mercy that we are still here". I don't have an explanation as to why natural disasters occur. I do know that in those times, God's people showed up big time and I will never forgot the things I saw during those days. Please continue to pray for all those affected.

In the last 20 days.....

We also celebrated Easter! Beautiful "Son"rise service, beautiful weather, awesome family time, and of course lots of good eats. Praying that Baby Clayton will be home to celebrate next Easter with us.

In the last 20 days....

We took our first ever family camping trip. And we SURVIVED! Actually, we did better than just survive, we had a great time! 2 nights, in a camper (got upgraded from a tent, best decision ever!!), on a Bay, with great friends, lots of little kids, and the greatest family ever.

In the last 20 days.....

I have become friends with a couple of ladies that have worked with the same agency we are working with. One is currently matched and is waiting for their precious baby to be born, (Hi Briana), the other has already received their blessing and have been enjoying their sweet boy for a little while now. (Hi Britanni). These ladies are extraordinary and have provided us with great insight. Please continue to pray for these adoptive Mom's, the birth families, and these little ones.

In the last 20 days....

We received 3 beautiful originals of our completed, approved Home Study!! Yay! So excited to have those precious gems in our hands! We immediately sent one of the originals to TX to be held in our file. Usually, agencies do not show your profile until you are homestudy approved, but our agency has been showing ours for nearly 2 months now. We could have been matched, but we would not have been able to take placement of the baby until we were home study approved. But, that situation did not come up and we have not been matched yet. We are still waiting for the day that we have been matched. "The Call" that will change our lives. Which is funny, because we feel that we have been "called" to be adoptive parents.

I will admit, it is harder for me to patient than it is for Jeff. At least on the outside. Oh, I really really try to be patient!! But the longing to hold this child is sometimes so much to bear. I know God's timing is perfect, I know we will receive the call sooner than later, I know we have come so far, and I KNOW without a doubt that when we bring baby home all of this wait will be completely worth it.

We have also talked about our birth mom allot recently. No, we don't know her yet, but we hope to have some sort of relationship with her. Whatever her comfort level. It hurts so bad knowing that our adoption, truly one of the most exciting times in our life can not occur without the heartache and suffering from baby's first Mom. There is no way for us to bring precious baby home, to fulfill this dream, without her going home with empty arms. We can only be thankful that she chose life and that she loved him/her enough to choose us, or any family. We can only pray that God's mercy and grace will be enough for her.

Tomorrow we celebrate Mother's Day. I have an amazing Mom. She is a great friend, listener, counselor, teacher, hugger, etc. She is really and truly awesome. I also have an incredible mother-in-law. I am so very blessed. I know that these two women would do anything for us. I cherish every bit of time we have together.

I also get to celebrate Mother's Day as a step-mom to my sweet Amber. When I said "I Do" to her sweet dad nearly 4 years ago, I vowed to love her as my own. I have always loved her. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I am pretty sure that's normal. And there was some definite transition when she came to live with us full time before our one year wedding anniversary. But I would not change a thing. Except, for maybe one thing. She longs to call me Mom. But she is not allowed. She slips up occasionally and calls me Mom because it is a natural thing to do, as I am the "mom figure" on a daily basis. It hurts that she feels guilty when she says it because she knows her Mom doesn't approve and has said she is adamant that Ams not call me Mom. We have tried to come up with different alternatives - "Mamma K", "Kiki", etc, but nothing sticks. It will be really interesting when our baby starts talking and calling me Momma, a name I have longed to hear for a lifetime.

Thank you for reading, for your continued prayers and encouragement. Can't wait to have some great news to share!!

Mass quantities of Spaghetti and more waiting

"When lifted against the backdrop of our own standards, thoughts, and expectations, the road God chooses for us is often not the road we might expect. He often chooses a wilderness journey for us to give us an opportunity to experience Him in a way we might miss in a place of ease and convenience." 

I really really need to learn to get out of God's way. I try to plan all things. I continue to pray that my steps are directed by God and not by me.

With that being said, let's update on the adoption front. My amazing Sunday School class hosted a spaghetti dinner for our adoption fund. WOW! We are so blessed. We got together on a Tuesday night and set up tables, silverware, etc then on Wednesday my classmates cooked, served, cleaned, AMAZED. We served 211 plates of spaghetti and raised $1839!!! Can you believe it?? These funds will go directly to legal fees, birthmom expenses, and being ready when we get the call!! Here are some pictures...

                                              Stack of adoption shirts ready to sell

                                         Friends working hard to prepare salads for To-go dinners!

                                         Tables are ready for the masses! And boy did they show!

Thank you so much to our awesome family and friends who are so loving and caring and want to help us. Thank you Lord for putting these people in our lives. I know they are just as excited as we are.

Our profile has been "live" for over a month now on the agency website and the hard copy profiles they have in the office. We won't know if we have been shown to expectant moms or not. In a way, I would love to know because then we would know for sure that there was progression, but in reality it is probably best that we don't know because we would start to question "What's wrong with us, they looked at our profile but no one chose us". So we continue to wait. I admit, patience has never been one of strongest virtues, so this has been a real test for me. Jeff continues to be even kilter, calm, easy going man that I adore. Who consistently reassures me that we have done all we can do and we have to continue to trust that we will be chosen soon.

Please continue to pray that God's will be done, pray for the birth parents, agency, case workers, and all parties involved.

We can't wait for the day when we get to announce that we have been chosen!! Until then....

Fingerprints, tiny onesies, and baskets galore

Found this on another adoption blog I follow and I loved it! "Adoption is very messy. It is beautiful and full of God, but it’s not simple or tidy. There is lots of stuff to sort through and many miracles must take place every time adoption happens. It’s such a beautiful picture of the way God has adopted us. Our adoption as sons and daughters in God’s family is messy, too. It involves repentance and brokenness and usually some tears. But in the end, this way that God has provided through Jesus, this way back to him after things were messed up by sin, brings a perfect reconciliation of broken things in our lives and our relationship with him. Just as adoption is a perfect reconciliation of physical brokenness: a husband and wife who are broken because they can't conceive, and a child born without a whole family. It all comes together to create a new, whole, un-broken family. Two broken things made whole, for the glory of God. God adopting us – children who sinned and messed up his perfect original plan – is the ultimate reconciliation of what was broken in the Garden of Eden. It all comes full circle in some crazy, mysterious way.I think that those who are touched by adoption will agree that it is a miraculous and blessed thing to be a part of, one that changes you and opens your eyes; one that leaves you forever imprinted with the image of God and the whisper of his love in your life.Our God is the God of miracles, and I am so blessed to be adopted into His eternal, victorious family!"
Awesome right??

So our profile has been "live" for a couple of weeks now. We have no idea if our profile has been shown to any families yet, but we are hopeful that our call will come anyday. Yesterday was an antsy day for me. Not sure why, just waited for the phone to ring. I probably looked at my cell phone a million and one times. Not to mention scoured the adoption angels website at the 6 waiting families to see if any had been matched yet. It's not that their "competition" so to speak, but it is interesting to read their profiles and look at their photos. I try really hard to not compare our profile to theirs. Continue to trust that God has our baby picked out and there is absolutely nothing else we can do to our profile to make a family like us, make her want to pick us. So we wait. We did receive word from TX that they had received our fingerprint cards and will be sending directly to NC ASAP which is great. Most agencies won't show your profile until your background and prints are cleared. But our awesome agency started showing us a couple of weeks ago before our prints were received.

Last week we were overwhelmed by kindness and generosity, again. I work with some amazing folks and they so generously created 15 beautiful gift baskets of various themes: beach, garden, cooking, baby, etc. They then sold raffle tickets for one week. I had the great honor of pulling the winning ticket for each of the fifteen baskets. (My Mom won a great basket complete with a giant giraffe which will be great in the nursery, this was not RIGGED!) All of the raffle proceeds went to our adoption fund. They raised $1040.00!!! Isn't that incredible??? I tried to say a few words to practice for Spaghetti dinner next week, and I couldn't hold it together. Tears everywhere. I don't think I was the only one though. :)

Bought 2 tiny onesies today. We have collected a few little things (non gender specific) to take with us when we journey across state lines. My fave so far is a yellow zippered sleeper that says: I love Mommy. Ahh I LOVE it!



Thank you everyone for your continued prayers, generosity, kind words, and for being our cheerleaders!!

We made it on the big screen...

Have I mentioned lately that I am thoroughly impressed with our agency?? Since we made the first phone call to them in the beginning of February, things have really moved at lightening speed. (Compared to how things had previously been moving..) God has really moved things right along for us!! In just a few short weeks, we have completed all our paperwork, received our official waiting family letter, and today our online profile was published on the agency website!!! This is HUGE!! So huge, that when I was scrolling down the waiting family list on the website (something I do frequently), and I saw US, I was almost sick. Ha Ha I couldn't believe it! Whoo Hoo. I know they have been showing our profile for a couple of weeks now, but being listed on the website means even more birth families will be able to see us.

I can't even imagine!!! Our birth mom could be reading our profile online right now! She could be considering adoption, browsing the agency site, read our profile, and hopefully she will see our hearts. She will see our desires. We know and trust that God has already chosen the baby we are to adopt. I can't wait!!

My sweet dear friends at work made 15 beautiful baskets to be raffled off with the proceeds going to help our adoption. We can't believe how much participation there has been. I can't believe there are so many people that desire to help. I am overwhelmed and I don't know how to properly thank everyone. Our Sunday School class is hosting a spaghetti dinner for us on April 6th. I'm gonna try to speak, gonna need to pray hard to hold it together.

The nursery is coming along so beautifully. Last weekend we put the bedding on the crib and it looks fantastic. My whole adult life I have only ever purchased things for other people's babies, I can't believe that it will be our baby one day, hopefully soon.

Please continue to pray for the birth family, our agency, our social worker, and for the whole process. Thank you so much! Love - J & K XOXO

Parents in Waiting, Paper Pregnant or whatever you wanna call it!!

YAY!!! One of the most important dates in our adoption journey has finally arrived!! In the mail this evening we found a "Parents-in-Waiting" letter from our agency!!!....


Dear Mr. and Mrs. Clayton,

We would like to congratulate you on your new status as Parents in Waiting with our agency. We have found your home study to be complete and received clearance on your criminal background check. At this time, we will begin to present your profile to Birth Parents. We will also continue making contact with you throughout the adoption process to ensure we have all required documents in place.

When selected (I love that it say WHEN and not IF), a committment packet will be mailed to you containin all the birth parent information, including all available information that we have gathered (Birth Parent profiles, medical records, photos, info on siblings of unborn child, etc) You will have five days to review the birth family information, ask questions, and talk with your family before you make your decision.

Another section read: This will probably prove to be the most trying and difficult time of your adoption. You have worked hard to get this far and now all you can do is wait. :)


WOOO HOOOOOOOOO When we ripped the letter open at 9pm in our dark front yard, squinting to read the print, I screamed! A loud, squeal of joy! So excited to be Paper Pregnant!! I received an email from a good friend yesterday filled with encouragement. She closed the letter with a specific prayer for begging for some kind of confirmation to ease my mind - an email, a phone call, or a letter to show things were progressing. Today, we received this great news. Thank you Lord for always sending things at the right time and reminding us that you have everything in your control.

Braxton Hicks (again), Lemon Parfait, and a Test of Endurance

Well....it has been an interesting couple of days. I've hesitated in sharing this but decided I would although names will be changed and vague details will be given. If you remember back in October I wrote about a Braxton Hicks of Adoption instance that occurred when we were made aware of a potential independent adoption situation. Well, it happened again!! A friend contacted me yesterday with some crazy news. She knew of a situation a few months ago (unbeknownst to us) where a woman was pregnant, already had a couple of children, and she was considering adoption for this baby. My friend contacted her and told her that she had a friend (us) that were trying to adopt and if she chose that route she could introduce us. She didn't hear anymore more out of her until Sunday night when the mother called her from the labor/delivery room sobbing that she wanted to place the baby girl for adoption and she wanted to meet us!!! (We still did not know this was going on) However, the boyfriend (bio father) is adamant about not placing the baby for adoption. Here in lies the problem....this makes for a legal risk situation. It's her right, he could contest, etc. Also, the woman's mom has stepped up and said she would help support the baby if she chose to keep her. It was an exciting little while. But mostly it makes me sad knowing there is a baby girl lying 5 miles down the road whose family is fighting over her. One wants to give her the kind of life that she admittedly is unable to provide, the other not allowing her that chance. Pray for this whole family as they need peace and healing, and strength. We have not heard anything else. We told our friend that we would speak with her if she wanted to. But we really don't feel like this is supposed to be our baby.

This posed a very interesting question though. Are we still interested in an independent adoption? The answer is possibly. Depends on the situation. We are working with Texas, we are deep in their process, but we will have to consider all opportunities as they arise. Who knew this would happen again??? I am so thankful for that friend who thought of us, who prayed for us, and was willing to help in any way.

So..continuing on....we have painted the nursery a delicious Lemon Parfait! It is beautiful!! We also repainted all the molding and trim a lovely white. It looks so fresh and clean! Next, my friend Lora will begin on the Noah's Ark mural. Can't wait to see the zebras, giraffes, monkeys, oh my! The crib bedding came in today too, and I almost broke down. It is precious. Never in my life did I think I would be purchasing baby items for us. But here we are, still no match, but preparing as though baby will be here tomorrow! Crazy I know!

We stood in line today for over an hour waiting to get fingerprinted. We had to leave before we made it through the line because I was already way over on my lunch break, but the kind guy said we could come back on Thursday and he would move us to the front of the line. Yay, for kind people. You would not find that kind of service at the DMV! ha ha "Back of the line"!!!

Next week our amazing Sunday school class is hosting a spaghetti supper for us with the proceeds going to the adoption fund. We are overwhelmed. We don't know how to thank people enough. I would love to be able to stand up pour my heart out to all in attendance, but I know I will be reduced to a blubbering idiot. No one wants to see that before they dig in to their spaghetti. I am not one of those pretty criers, nope, I'm the red eyed, puffy lips, snot nosed, snorter who gets choked up easily and words fail to flow. Hmm, people might attend just for show. ha ha Gonna have to pray big time.

I'm getting tired of the race. I know there will be a happy ending to this journey (yes, I'm that optimistic), but the last few days I have really been exhausted. For months we have been working so hard to prepare, plan, process, and push things to happen. And I don't regret it at all!! But maybe I will feel differently when the fingerprints are finished and the background check is in so the HS can be finalized. Then we really won't have anything to do in the process except wait. Oh, more waiting. haha We are hopeful that when we are officially official with no red tape in the way that we will be matched quickly.

Thank you for the prayers, texts and msgs of encouragement, and for following our journey. We could not do this without you all.