Hello all,
I thought it was probably time to clarify a few questions regarding our fundraising. This post isn't really for those that know exactly what we are trying to do and why we are trying to do it. This post is more for those people that may not quite understand and in turn, they say some pretty offhanded comments. To us, and you.
1. "Why don't you just go through foster care, those kids are free?" Yes, I have actually been told that we should "get" a waiting child in foster care because we wouldn't have to raise money, and wouldn't have to wait long. Does our desire to raise an infant together make us selfish? I personally don't think so. God's plan has not included the miracle that allows me to carry our child in my womb, but His plan has led us to adopt. At this point in our lives we desire to adopt an infant. Perhaps, later on in life, we will feel led to adopt from foster care but for now, we desire to adopt the infant that God is forming for us.
2. It has been hinted that perhaps we should have made the decision to adopt if we could not afford it. This one probably bothers me the most. Because, yes, we don't have $20K plus laying around, I don't know many people who do. But, we did not just wake up one day and decide, hmm, we should adopt. Years of failed fertility attempts left us broken. Exactly where God needed us to be before the plan could unfold. Adoption was everywhere we turned and we finally realized what we were supposed to do. And it felt good and right. And every day closer heals my broken infertile heart.
Over the past 6 months we have raised several thousand dollars that have gone directly to our adoption expenses. We are eternally grateful for every person who purchased a T-shirt, a cheesecake, dipped fruit, or just handed us a check or cash. We don't feel worthy or good enough to accept the outpouring of love and generosity that has been shown to us. In the beginning of this process we knew that we would have to rely on God to help us raise the funds for this adoption. But it has not come easy. It has been a labor of love. We have sold our boat, are in the process of selling our Jeep, baked for over 120 hours through the holidays, and designed and sold t-shirts. We have not sat back and just assumed $20k would simply fall in our lap. The funds raised have gone towards our home study, agency fees that include building our profile, "advertising" our family, assisting the birth mom, legal fees involved in termination of parental rights, etc.
And we are getting so very close. Again, thank you to everyone that has been so supportive from the very beginning, who have never doubted our intentions. Thank you for the encouragement, prayers, concerns, questions, creative ideas, for loving our family.
We continue to wait....we are so close to becoming an official waiting family....we are so close to meeting our birth family, we are so close to bringing home Baby Clayton.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
I've got a feeling...
It has been a couple of weeks since we last updated. Although it seems to have flown by! We had a very successful Valentine's adoption fundraiser. Vesta and I dipped strawberries, pineapple, apples, oranges, blueberries, pretzels, and graham crackers in chocolate, and boy was this popular! We had over 50 doz orders!! Here is a pic:
We spent the last week gathering the necessary documents for the new agency in TX. Amazingly enough for us they are willing to take copies of all our docs that we had already obtained for the NC agency. Birth certificates, marriage licences, medical records and physicals for the 3 of us, reference letters, etc, they will take them all! This has saved us much time!! We forwarded them a link to our birth parent letter and photo album for their review before we actually ordered the book, and they LOVED it! Whew, what a relief! So we forwarded all docs, the original photo album that we ordered from shutterfly, 4 color copies, and now...we wait. But it is a different kind of waiting than even a couple of months ago. A couple of months ago we did not even know that this agency existed and we were putting all our eggs in one basket so to speak. We were working on our home study and waiting to get on a waiting list for NC. We were optimistic but were starting to get wary of the process only because there seemed to be no progress. But now, things are coming together in such a way that we can't help but feel encouraged and see how God is working. Soon, we will officially be paper pregnant, or parents in waiting. Soon we will be advertised to birth families facing a huge decision. And we pray that soon, we will be receiving a call that will change our lives. In the meantime we are working on a few things....
1. Preparing to paint the mural in baby room - Noah's Ark
2. Painting big sister Amber's Room - her choice of colors
3. Making a huge calling tree of sorts to most efficiently get the word out when we receive the 1st call and when we receive a call that our birth mom is in labor. Although, we could only get one call, that our birth mom is in labor! WOW! That would be intense!
4. Making a travel list - not the obvious things but those that we would not normally think of - car seat/with base, stroller (grateful we have these 2 things already), hoping to borrow a GPS from someone so we can navigate our way around the 6th largest city in the country
5. Researching hotels, rental cars, and flights in San Antonio, TX
6. Packing a diaper bag
What else are we missing?? What else should I be working on if I were actually going to give birth?
Jeff and I both have a "feeling" that things are going to start moving even faster. Things have really been going so well that I know this would be a great opportunity for Satan to jump in and attempt to steal my thunder, but our God has this totally under control!! And we are choosing to be optimistic!
Thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, generosity, and simply your interest in our story. We love and appreciate every one of you. Love - J & K
We spent the last week gathering the necessary documents for the new agency in TX. Amazingly enough for us they are willing to take copies of all our docs that we had already obtained for the NC agency. Birth certificates, marriage licences, medical records and physicals for the 3 of us, reference letters, etc, they will take them all! This has saved us much time!! We forwarded them a link to our birth parent letter and photo album for their review before we actually ordered the book, and they LOVED it! Whew, what a relief! So we forwarded all docs, the original photo album that we ordered from shutterfly, 4 color copies, and now...we wait. But it is a different kind of waiting than even a couple of months ago. A couple of months ago we did not even know that this agency existed and we were putting all our eggs in one basket so to speak. We were working on our home study and waiting to get on a waiting list for NC. We were optimistic but were starting to get wary of the process only because there seemed to be no progress. But now, things are coming together in such a way that we can't help but feel encouraged and see how God is working. Soon, we will officially be paper pregnant, or parents in waiting. Soon we will be advertised to birth families facing a huge decision. And we pray that soon, we will be receiving a call that will change our lives. In the meantime we are working on a few things....
1. Preparing to paint the mural in baby room - Noah's Ark
2. Painting big sister Amber's Room - her choice of colors
3. Making a huge calling tree of sorts to most efficiently get the word out when we receive the 1st call and when we receive a call that our birth mom is in labor. Although, we could only get one call, that our birth mom is in labor! WOW! That would be intense!
4. Making a travel list - not the obvious things but those that we would not normally think of - car seat/with base, stroller (grateful we have these 2 things already), hoping to borrow a GPS from someone so we can navigate our way around the 6th largest city in the country
5. Researching hotels, rental cars, and flights in San Antonio, TX
6. Packing a diaper bag
What else are we missing?? What else should I be working on if I were actually going to give birth?
Jeff and I both have a "feeling" that things are going to start moving even faster. Things have really been going so well that I know this would be a great opportunity for Satan to jump in and attempt to steal my thunder, but our God has this totally under control!! And we are choosing to be optimistic!
Thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, generosity, and simply your interest in our story. We love and appreciate every one of you. Love - J & K
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A mind and spirit revival! Things are unfolding!
I want to stand at the top of the tallest mountain and scream at the top of my lungs.
WOW! Things are unfolding in an awesome way, filled with little affirmations that some will no doubt say are purely coincidentally. I wholeheartedly, without a doubt, know that God has heard our prayers. He knew that we (okay, mainly me) needed a "sign", something to occur to let me know we are on the right path. I re-read my last post, and it makes me sad. And excited to see how things have changed in just a few days. OK, you can exhale now, we have not been matched yet, but....and a very serious but..... we are so much closer than we were before. And the amount of peace that surrounds the new developments is tremendous. Let me begin....
As you all know we have been waiting to wait for months with the NC agency. In October we were told there were so many waiting families that it they were not able to take any more at this time, but hopefully by spring. Well, we decided (after the braxton hix situation) that we would proceed anyway and hire the agency to independently handle our home study. So glad we did! Our amazing social worker Dawn is incredible. Caring, generous with her time, flexible, and so much more. She has been excited for us since the start and it has been a real pleasure to work with her. We completed 3 HS visits in December, and the last one in January. Dawn has been busy finishing for approval. During this time we have become more and more disenchanted with our current agency. When we asked if we would be able to attend the required meeting that is ONLY held in April and September, we were told that they were not sure yet. Zero communication. That bothers me. So the disenchantment continued to build which led us to start second guessing the path. Not the path of adoption as a whole, just the path to the end result. We started looking at other agencies. Others had great advertising and wonderful appealing aspects with promises of more communication, quicker results, etc. But we still had no real peace about any of them. By the end of last week, I was ready to ban myself from the Internet. I felt really down. This is probably a good place to plug my awesome husband. He is amazing. He is a tough and strong but a soft place to land. He keeps me hopeful. He doesn't show his excitement and enthusiasm the way that I do. But I see what most people don't. The glances in the baby room, the talks about baby names, him declaring "I just want the little person here already!" I love him.
Anyway.... we decided not to pursue one particular agency that we had been discussing for several days. The very same day we spoke with a couple that we have known inadvertently for awhile. They began to tell us their adoption story. They had also been through the battle of infertility. They said they could not tell us what to do what they suggested we look into their agency...in Texas! My first question, is why Texas? Several reasons really. First, the agency in Texas only deals with families that have documented infertility. Second, the laws in TX are much different in NC. In NC, the birth mom can terminate her rights after birth, but has 7 days to change her name. In TX, she can terminate her rights at 48hrs, and there is NO 7 day waiting to see if she will change her mind. HUGE!
Agency facts that I learned from the director today:
Work with only about 15 or so families at a time.
Average wait time is 6 months, could be shorter, could be longer
Place about 60-65 babies per year.
Large majority of babies are Hispanic due to the population. These babies are often hard to place. When the director told me that today, I promptly said "We'll take two!"
The women are tested for every disease known to man, taken to prenatal appointments and counseled weekly. Communication between us and agency would be very frequent.
WHEN we get matched we will also receive a profile on the birth mom to make sure we won't to proceed. This is great! When it is time for delivery Jeff and I will fly to San Antonio and will probably have to wait a few days, possibly a week for the interstate compact between TX and NC. During that time we can explore the city and enjoy every minute of our new baby. I pray we are able to spend time with baby's first mom.
So, I can't wait to tell you about the ways God is working, even in the smallest ways!! When I emailed Dawn to tell her about our intentions of looking into TX, I included the whole story about the couple who told us about the agency in the first place. Her reply was great! Not only does she know them, she helped facilitate some of their paperwork so that they could come home by Easter in 2008! How awesome is that??! She also got the stipulations from TX that need to be included and incorporated them into my HS now, instead of having to get an update later. BONUS!
Then, I discovered that an old friend/co-worker of mine now lives in San Antonio!! Another BONUS!! She is already excited about planning some things for us, what a huge relief it is to know that we have at least one friend in the city!
Then, while talking to my friend at work about hoping that the hotel has Internet because I want to be able to check flights, send pics, etc, (we don't have Internet on our phones), she easily said "Oh, well that's easy, I have an old laptop you can have!!" Seriously!!!
Then, my dear friend Kristyn, who is going to be a fantastic Thirty-one consultant asked me to host a party, which of course I would. Then she said a % will go to our adoption fund. How amazing!!
We can't explain the peace we have. The excitement we have. The love we already have for our birth mom and baby. The awe in how God works. We choose to be optimistic.
The finances will work out, the agency is exactly the amount that I can withdraw from my 401K. Praise the lord.
Now, we can focus on raising funds for the attorney fees ($2k), potential birth mom expenses (in case she doesn't have insurance,etc), and travel expenses. (Flight,hotel, car) But we have some fundraisers in mind, but more important than that, is that GOD always provides a way!
I know this post is all jumbled, sorry about that.
So, occasionally we allow ourselves to envision traveling home, stepping off the airport, and seeing so many of our family and friends who have come to welcome us home. I only allow myself a few seconds of picturing this. But one day, maybe one day soon, our homecoming day will be a reality and not just a dream.
WOW! Things are unfolding in an awesome way, filled with little affirmations that some will no doubt say are purely coincidentally. I wholeheartedly, without a doubt, know that God has heard our prayers. He knew that we (okay, mainly me) needed a "sign", something to occur to let me know we are on the right path. I re-read my last post, and it makes me sad. And excited to see how things have changed in just a few days. OK, you can exhale now, we have not been matched yet, but....and a very serious but..... we are so much closer than we were before. And the amount of peace that surrounds the new developments is tremendous. Let me begin....
As you all know we have been waiting to wait for months with the NC agency. In October we were told there were so many waiting families that it they were not able to take any more at this time, but hopefully by spring. Well, we decided (after the braxton hix situation) that we would proceed anyway and hire the agency to independently handle our home study. So glad we did! Our amazing social worker Dawn is incredible. Caring, generous with her time, flexible, and so much more. She has been excited for us since the start and it has been a real pleasure to work with her. We completed 3 HS visits in December, and the last one in January. Dawn has been busy finishing for approval. During this time we have become more and more disenchanted with our current agency. When we asked if we would be able to attend the required meeting that is ONLY held in April and September, we were told that they were not sure yet. Zero communication. That bothers me. So the disenchantment continued to build which led us to start second guessing the path. Not the path of adoption as a whole, just the path to the end result. We started looking at other agencies. Others had great advertising and wonderful appealing aspects with promises of more communication, quicker results, etc. But we still had no real peace about any of them. By the end of last week, I was ready to ban myself from the Internet. I felt really down. This is probably a good place to plug my awesome husband. He is amazing. He is a tough and strong but a soft place to land. He keeps me hopeful. He doesn't show his excitement and enthusiasm the way that I do. But I see what most people don't. The glances in the baby room, the talks about baby names, him declaring "I just want the little person here already!" I love him.
Anyway.... we decided not to pursue one particular agency that we had been discussing for several days. The very same day we spoke with a couple that we have known inadvertently for awhile. They began to tell us their adoption story. They had also been through the battle of infertility. They said they could not tell us what to do what they suggested we look into their agency...in Texas! My first question, is why Texas? Several reasons really. First, the agency in Texas only deals with families that have documented infertility. Second, the laws in TX are much different in NC. In NC, the birth mom can terminate her rights after birth, but has 7 days to change her name. In TX, she can terminate her rights at 48hrs, and there is NO 7 day waiting to see if she will change her mind. HUGE!
Agency facts that I learned from the director today:
Work with only about 15 or so families at a time.
Average wait time is 6 months, could be shorter, could be longer
Place about 60-65 babies per year.
Large majority of babies are Hispanic due to the population. These babies are often hard to place. When the director told me that today, I promptly said "We'll take two!"
The women are tested for every disease known to man, taken to prenatal appointments and counseled weekly. Communication between us and agency would be very frequent.
WHEN we get matched we will also receive a profile on the birth mom to make sure we won't to proceed. This is great! When it is time for delivery Jeff and I will fly to San Antonio and will probably have to wait a few days, possibly a week for the interstate compact between TX and NC. During that time we can explore the city and enjoy every minute of our new baby. I pray we are able to spend time with baby's first mom.
So, I can't wait to tell you about the ways God is working, even in the smallest ways!! When I emailed Dawn to tell her about our intentions of looking into TX, I included the whole story about the couple who told us about the agency in the first place. Her reply was great! Not only does she know them, she helped facilitate some of their paperwork so that they could come home by Easter in 2008! How awesome is that??! She also got the stipulations from TX that need to be included and incorporated them into my HS now, instead of having to get an update later. BONUS!
Then, I discovered that an old friend/co-worker of mine now lives in San Antonio!! Another BONUS!! She is already excited about planning some things for us, what a huge relief it is to know that we have at least one friend in the city!
Then, while talking to my friend at work about hoping that the hotel has Internet because I want to be able to check flights, send pics, etc, (we don't have Internet on our phones), she easily said "Oh, well that's easy, I have an old laptop you can have!!" Seriously!!!
Then, my dear friend Kristyn, who is going to be a fantastic Thirty-one consultant asked me to host a party, which of course I would. Then she said a % will go to our adoption fund. How amazing!!
We can't explain the peace we have. The excitement we have. The love we already have for our birth mom and baby. The awe in how God works. We choose to be optimistic.
The finances will work out, the agency is exactly the amount that I can withdraw from my 401K. Praise the lord.
Now, we can focus on raising funds for the attorney fees ($2k), potential birth mom expenses (in case she doesn't have insurance,etc), and travel expenses. (Flight,hotel, car) But we have some fundraisers in mind, but more important than that, is that GOD always provides a way!
I know this post is all jumbled, sorry about that.
So, occasionally we allow ourselves to envision traveling home, stepping off the airport, and seeing so many of our family and friends who have come to welcome us home. I only allow myself a few seconds of picturing this. But one day, maybe one day soon, our homecoming day will be a reality and not just a dream.
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