Hi everyone -
Our first application is almost finished and we have definitely learned a few things! First, we never put much thought into child rearing techniques, discipline, etc. We just kind of go with it with Amber. It just seems to work. Sometimes I am the bad guy, and sometimes Jeff is the bad guy. We tend to warn, and then punish, which yes, this includes spanking/popping when necessary. **Gasp** It's the way we were raised and how we feel our children should be raised. We have just a couple of questions left on the application. We can't quite seem to put our answer into words. Maybe someone can help decipher what they are looking for. The question is "What are your expectations for the child you are adopting?' We are probably over analyzing this question but I don't think it means "We want our child to be a brain surgeon at the age of 15" or "We expect our child to be an NBA star". How can you have expectations of a newborn? So, all you ladies out there that have been pregnant, if someone were to ask you "What are your expectations of your child?" How would you answer?
Also, we have been looking into some grant opportunities for helping to cover the cost of the adoption. We will need to have our home study done before we can apply. Hopefully the home study will be the next step. We are also open to any fundraising we may be able to do. Anyone have any creative ideas? All those years raising money for Relay for Life you would think I would have tons of ideas! As special as the American Cancer Society is to me, this is much harder. I think it is because it is easy to ask people to donate money for cancer treatment and research but I am concerned about having fundraisers to help cover the adoption fees. The fees charged by our non-profit agency go to many things including birthmom counseling, medical expenses, administration, etc. This is where we have to truly rely on God. He led us to pursue adoption, and He will make a way. We have been praying about this and we know there is a way and we will not be discouraged.
Saw 2 cute baby shirts today on an adoption website: "Sorry Angelina, but I'm taken" which is funny cause if I was Angelina Jolie I could just go pick my baby out and be done with it. haha. The 2nd was "Sorry I kept you waiting" Aww, too cute.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Love you all and thanks so much for the prayers and support!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Dear Baby Clayton
08/12/10
Dear Baby Clayton,
I have been thinking about you allot lately. What will you look like? Will you have blue eyes like Jeff, Amber, and I, hazel eyes like your Grandma Linda, or something completely different? Will you have blond hair like Amber and your Uncle Kevin or brown hair like me? When I picture you, you are all bundled up so it's hard to tell. In my mind you have chubby cheeks just like me as an infant. Oh, and you smell and feel amazing.
I think it is important for you to know the family that you will be joining. Your Daddy is a one in a million. He is kind, generous, funny, and he works so hard to provide for us. He loves to fish and hunt, and don't worry, even if you are a girl you won't miss out. Daddy loves to take "his girls" fishing. Although he says we are a little loud in the tree stand! He has a strong faith and believes in doing what is right. He is the leader of our family although sometimes he lets me pretend I'm the boss. :)
Your big sister Amber is so very excited to meet you! Keeping her patient while waiting for you has been interesting to say the least. She is currently seven years old and has become quite used to being the old child and grandchild. But, she really wants to be a big sister! She told me today that even if you dont' look like us, it does not matter to her, she would still love you. And she said no one would ever pick on you or they would have to answer to her! I don't think you will have to worry about that! Now, the first time you are hogging all the spotlight it might be a bit difficult for her but we have reassured her that God makes sure that we all have enough love in our hearts for each of our children. Amber is a very smart, sweet, hilarious, beautiful girl that will definitely love you from Day 1.
You are definitely in luck when it comes to grandparents!! Your maternal Grandma Linda is amazing! She taught school for many many years and she has so many fun ways to teach you things. And she is super patient and will play the same game over and over, just ask Amber. Did I mention that she is super smart? Yep, she is absolutely the one you will want on your trivial pursuit team. (That's a game our family has played for years, usually boys against girls) She can color really well also! She will be one of the first ones to hold you, she has waited patiently and prayed for you for so long. Oh, and she lives right next door! Your maternal Grandpa Kenny is in Heaven now, but I know he knows everything going on down here, and he would love you from the start! He would have held you in his big strong arms and coo at you to get a smile. As you grew you would have been great pals. Don't worry, we will make sure you know all about him. I'm sorry he couldn't be there when you join our family.
Your paternal grandparents are pretty great as well. Grandpa Johnny is allot like your Dad. He is funny, works very hard to take care of his family, and loves the Lord. He also loves fishing and spending time with Amber. They have a grand time together. He will definitely teach you lots of neat things - especially how to fix things! You will be so blessed to have Grandma Debbie also. She will love on you, tend to your every need, sew, cook, and do everything in her power to spoil you! ha ha
Between these grandparents you don't stand a chance of not being rotten! :)
You also have 2 uncles. My brother is Uncle Kevin. Oh boy, now that is definitely a picture I want - him holding you! Whew! Uncle Kevin loves his family, works hard, and has a sarcastic wit that you will adore. He can also draw anything so feel free to ask him to draw whatever you want - Amber already does! He may seem tough (he has a few tattoos), but one look at you and he will melt.
Daddy's brother is Uncle Stephen. He is also an artist! He will teach you lots of things as you get older. He taught Amber how to play several little songs on a tiny piano. Twinkle twinkle little star.... He is a little shy, but who knows, you may be just the person to bring him out. :)
Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins OH MY! You have tons of extended family!! We try to get together as much as possible and we have a great time. It has changed over the years as people have grown, passed away, work, etc. but the core desire to spend time together is always there. We love to get together at Uncle Sam & Aunt Deb's and sit around a fire and the kids love to play on Uncle Sam's pirate ship tree house that he built himself! He is super talented and really patient with all your little cousins - he is always full of surprises and creative ideas! You have family in all types of professions: School teachers, Librarian, Park Superintendent, Dental office, Police Officer, School Bus Garage, Nurse, really the list can go on and on. There will no shortage of family members! We have some great friends too that have always stood by Daddy and I. It is very important to find friendships that can last a lifetime. And sometimes, if you are real lucky like us, your best friends are your family!
You will also have an amazing church family. Our family at Church are the best in the world. They have continually prayed for you and lifted us up with encouraging words. They are all so excited to meet you. I can't wait for baby dedication day! What a beautiful day that will be. We have longed for you for so long we can't wait to tell everyone that will listen how awesome God is that he brought you to us.
You will also have a biological family. We don't know anything about them yet, but we can assure you that one day you will know what we know. For now, all I know is they must have loved you very much to give you the chance to grow inside mommy and then have them make such an unselfish decision to place you with our family.
Wow - you are a lucky baby to have so many wonderful family and friends adore you!
Love you Baby Clayton,
Dear Baby Clayton,
I have been thinking about you allot lately. What will you look like? Will you have blue eyes like Jeff, Amber, and I, hazel eyes like your Grandma Linda, or something completely different? Will you have blond hair like Amber and your Uncle Kevin or brown hair like me? When I picture you, you are all bundled up so it's hard to tell. In my mind you have chubby cheeks just like me as an infant. Oh, and you smell and feel amazing.
I think it is important for you to know the family that you will be joining. Your Daddy is a one in a million. He is kind, generous, funny, and he works so hard to provide for us. He loves to fish and hunt, and don't worry, even if you are a girl you won't miss out. Daddy loves to take "his girls" fishing. Although he says we are a little loud in the tree stand! He has a strong faith and believes in doing what is right. He is the leader of our family although sometimes he lets me pretend I'm the boss. :)
Your big sister Amber is so very excited to meet you! Keeping her patient while waiting for you has been interesting to say the least. She is currently seven years old and has become quite used to being the old child and grandchild. But, she really wants to be a big sister! She told me today that even if you dont' look like us, it does not matter to her, she would still love you. And she said no one would ever pick on you or they would have to answer to her! I don't think you will have to worry about that! Now, the first time you are hogging all the spotlight it might be a bit difficult for her but we have reassured her that God makes sure that we all have enough love in our hearts for each of our children. Amber is a very smart, sweet, hilarious, beautiful girl that will definitely love you from Day 1.
You are definitely in luck when it comes to grandparents!! Your maternal Grandma Linda is amazing! She taught school for many many years and she has so many fun ways to teach you things. And she is super patient and will play the same game over and over, just ask Amber. Did I mention that she is super smart? Yep, she is absolutely the one you will want on your trivial pursuit team. (That's a game our family has played for years, usually boys against girls) She can color really well also! She will be one of the first ones to hold you, she has waited patiently and prayed for you for so long. Oh, and she lives right next door! Your maternal Grandpa Kenny is in Heaven now, but I know he knows everything going on down here, and he would love you from the start! He would have held you in his big strong arms and coo at you to get a smile. As you grew you would have been great pals. Don't worry, we will make sure you know all about him. I'm sorry he couldn't be there when you join our family.
Your paternal grandparents are pretty great as well. Grandpa Johnny is allot like your Dad. He is funny, works very hard to take care of his family, and loves the Lord. He also loves fishing and spending time with Amber. They have a grand time together. He will definitely teach you lots of neat things - especially how to fix things! You will be so blessed to have Grandma Debbie also. She will love on you, tend to your every need, sew, cook, and do everything in her power to spoil you! ha ha
Between these grandparents you don't stand a chance of not being rotten! :)
You also have 2 uncles. My brother is Uncle Kevin. Oh boy, now that is definitely a picture I want - him holding you! Whew! Uncle Kevin loves his family, works hard, and has a sarcastic wit that you will adore. He can also draw anything so feel free to ask him to draw whatever you want - Amber already does! He may seem tough (he has a few tattoos), but one look at you and he will melt.
Daddy's brother is Uncle Stephen. He is also an artist! He will teach you lots of things as you get older. He taught Amber how to play several little songs on a tiny piano. Twinkle twinkle little star.... He is a little shy, but who knows, you may be just the person to bring him out. :)
Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins OH MY! You have tons of extended family!! We try to get together as much as possible and we have a great time. It has changed over the years as people have grown, passed away, work, etc. but the core desire to spend time together is always there. We love to get together at Uncle Sam & Aunt Deb's and sit around a fire and the kids love to play on Uncle Sam's pirate ship tree house that he built himself! He is super talented and really patient with all your little cousins - he is always full of surprises and creative ideas! You have family in all types of professions: School teachers, Librarian, Park Superintendent, Dental office, Police Officer, School Bus Garage, Nurse, really the list can go on and on. There will no shortage of family members! We have some great friends too that have always stood by Daddy and I. It is very important to find friendships that can last a lifetime. And sometimes, if you are real lucky like us, your best friends are your family!
You will also have an amazing church family. Our family at Church are the best in the world. They have continually prayed for you and lifted us up with encouraging words. They are all so excited to meet you. I can't wait for baby dedication day! What a beautiful day that will be. We have longed for you for so long we can't wait to tell everyone that will listen how awesome God is that he brought you to us.
You will also have a biological family. We don't know anything about them yet, but we can assure you that one day you will know what we know. For now, all I know is they must have loved you very much to give you the chance to grow inside mommy and then have them make such an unselfish decision to place you with our family.
Wow - you are a lucky baby to have so many wonderful family and friends adore you!
Love you Baby Clayton,
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Am I really blogging??
Hi! I never really thought much about blogging, being a blogger, or ever having a need to blog about anything. It has been mentioned to me several times recently from friends/family that would like to keep up with our adoption process. So here I am, blogging for the first time. I think with every good story, you need a little background information.
Jeff and I met in January 2006 and married in November 2007. Given my past medical history we knew that the odds would be stacked against us in having biological children together, but we were ever hopeful. Well, after several specialist visits, fertility treatments, and the absolute emotional roller coaster that is INFERTILITY we took a step back. During this time as we were praying for God's will to be done something quite amazing happened. Every time we turned on the TV, opened a magazine, or tuned into the radio someone was speaking on adoption. Literally, everyday it was presented to us. It had been something that we had thought about in the past but we (I) was just not quite ready for. I suppose some people grow up and just know that they wanted to adopt one day. I was not one of those people. I grew up wanting the whole experience, I didn't want to miss a thing. Every little move, ultrasound, etc, I wanted it all. But that is not God's plan for me. After much praying we decided to further look into the adoption process. Once we decided that this was the route we WANTED to go and not the route we HAVE to go the relief was immediate!
We felt a huge weight had been lifted because we no longer have to pursue fertility treatment to grow our family. No more monthly roller coaster of emotions. Am I pregnant? Could it be? Anyone reading this ever longed for a child will know exactly what I am saying. Your mind plays tricks on you and before you know it you have your hopes up even though you promised yourself you wouldn't this month. We are not naive to believe that adoption is not full of emotions as well, but it is also such a beautiful thing. It could be a long, complicated, stressful, and emotional time but we have a strong belief that since God placed this desire in our hearts to adopt then He will give us the tools and resources to achieve. Someone told me the other day that adoption is so expensive (which it is), and that it might be unrealistic. Hmm, my only response was that my God is a HUGE God and He can move all mountains!
So, that's a little back story for you. So where are we now? We are right in the middle of application number 1! ha ha. We sometimes feel like we need a Masters degree to complete all the paperwork. Essays, statements, etc. We were introduced to an amazing woman who was able to answer so many of our questions and to offer guidance. We have chosen to work with Christian Adoption Services located in Matthews, NC. They are a non-profit Christian adoption agency. They counsel birth mothers before birth as well as after delivery. The birth Mom can actually choose us! This is very exciting. After our first application is accepted, we are required to attend training, and then our formal application/home study will be accepted. I will go more into those steps as they come up.
We have been asked about what we are looking for in a child? I take that to mean: boy/girl, race, nationality, etc. After much thought we would like to raise a domestic infant of either gender! We trust that God already has Baby Clayton planned for us, and he/she may not even be formed yet. How amazing is that? What a great feeling to know that while He is preparing us for this journey He is also preparing a Birthmom to make the biggest decision of her life. WOW!
Next time I will cover how we told our parents, and especially Amber of our decision to pursue adoption.
Ok, I am going to close for now. Are any of you still awake? haha I agreed to do this but I did not say it would be entertaining!
I will post one question before I close... if you could only say one sentence to the Birthmom, what would it be? Ours would be: "Thank you for choosing life"
Thanks for the encouragement, prayers, and kind words! Love ya- The Claytons
Jeff and I met in January 2006 and married in November 2007. Given my past medical history we knew that the odds would be stacked against us in having biological children together, but we were ever hopeful. Well, after several specialist visits, fertility treatments, and the absolute emotional roller coaster that is INFERTILITY we took a step back. During this time as we were praying for God's will to be done something quite amazing happened. Every time we turned on the TV, opened a magazine, or tuned into the radio someone was speaking on adoption. Literally, everyday it was presented to us. It had been something that we had thought about in the past but we (I) was just not quite ready for. I suppose some people grow up and just know that they wanted to adopt one day. I was not one of those people. I grew up wanting the whole experience, I didn't want to miss a thing. Every little move, ultrasound, etc, I wanted it all. But that is not God's plan for me. After much praying we decided to further look into the adoption process. Once we decided that this was the route we WANTED to go and not the route we HAVE to go the relief was immediate!
We felt a huge weight had been lifted because we no longer have to pursue fertility treatment to grow our family. No more monthly roller coaster of emotions. Am I pregnant? Could it be? Anyone reading this ever longed for a child will know exactly what I am saying. Your mind plays tricks on you and before you know it you have your hopes up even though you promised yourself you wouldn't this month. We are not naive to believe that adoption is not full of emotions as well, but it is also such a beautiful thing. It could be a long, complicated, stressful, and emotional time but we have a strong belief that since God placed this desire in our hearts to adopt then He will give us the tools and resources to achieve. Someone told me the other day that adoption is so expensive (which it is), and that it might be unrealistic. Hmm, my only response was that my God is a HUGE God and He can move all mountains!
So, that's a little back story for you. So where are we now? We are right in the middle of application number 1! ha ha. We sometimes feel like we need a Masters degree to complete all the paperwork. Essays, statements, etc. We were introduced to an amazing woman who was able to answer so many of our questions and to offer guidance. We have chosen to work with Christian Adoption Services located in Matthews, NC. They are a non-profit Christian adoption agency. They counsel birth mothers before birth as well as after delivery. The birth Mom can actually choose us! This is very exciting. After our first application is accepted, we are required to attend training, and then our formal application/home study will be accepted. I will go more into those steps as they come up.
We have been asked about what we are looking for in a child? I take that to mean: boy/girl, race, nationality, etc. After much thought we would like to raise a domestic infant of either gender! We trust that God already has Baby Clayton planned for us, and he/she may not even be formed yet. How amazing is that? What a great feeling to know that while He is preparing us for this journey He is also preparing a Birthmom to make the biggest decision of her life. WOW!
Next time I will cover how we told our parents, and especially Amber of our decision to pursue adoption.
Ok, I am going to close for now. Are any of you still awake? haha I agreed to do this but I did not say it would be entertaining!
I will post one question before I close... if you could only say one sentence to the Birthmom, what would it be? Ours would be: "Thank you for choosing life"
Thanks for the encouragement, prayers, and kind words! Love ya- The Claytons
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