Possibilities are endless

Well, once again it has been a few weeks since I sat down to write. Not really tons to tell. We are almost into June, which means we are almost in the month of July. July will be one year since we started this process. I remember that because we took a huge stack of paperwork with us on our family beach vacation last year. It was on that vacation that we told Amber, and then Jeff's parents that we were going to adopt! That was a fun time! We have come a long way since then. Here we sit, all paperwork, home visits, fingerprints, biographies, etc are complete, and we are just waiting. I think this period of waiting is much harder than the previous months, simply because there is nothing for me to do. Those that know me, know that I love a checklist, well, maybe several checklists. I like to add completed items to the checklist just so I have the satisfaction of crossing them off! Yeah, I know that sounds crazy. But I also know there are those of you out there that do the SAME thing! ha ha

In our binder of all things adoption, I have several lists.

People to call when we get the first call
People to call when we get the call that it is time to fly out
People to call to have them help call (think phone tree)
Packing list
List of things to be included in carry-on for plane
List of things that can be in suitcase to be checked

This has been a particularly hard week. Started out pretty exciting but has ended somewhat anticlimactic so far....I guess the week is not technically over yet. (I remain hopefully optimistic)

We usually would not be told when our profile will be shared with birthmoms, but Monday and Tuesday we received emails asking if we would consider having our profiles shown to 2 cases with special circumstances.  One is a baby girl, the other a boy. Both due within 5 days of each other. In 9 weeks. After much thought, prayer, and some research, we said yes to to showing our profiles, knowing that we would receive additional information as it became available. Last word was on Tuesday, that our profile (as well as any of the other 11 waiting families) would probably be shown by the end of the week. We have not heard anything else.

I will say, that we realize why we have been waiting. If we had received a call last year, right after we started this process, we would have said NO to both of these cases. No, that does not make us eager or mean that we are settling, it means that we have opened our eyes to the fact that not all babies are born into perfect circumstances! Not all babies have a smooth start. Sometimes there is risky behavior, sometimes proper pre-natal care is out of reach for these woman. Sometimes, it takes a family to be willing to say YES to change a life. To give a chance. To make a difference. If neither of these families choose us, hopefully they will choose another of the waiting families with our agency. That means 2 more waiting families off the list, but more importantly 2 babies will have their forever homes.

Now, more than ever we know that God is hard at work. Preparing our hearts to be ready when our baby is ready. Please continue to pray for our process, the birth moms, the agency, and us.

Thanks for reading!

In the last 20 days....

On the day after my last post, April 16th, we had several very strong, deadly tornado's leave a path of destruction across our state, including our city. It was devastating, heart breaking, hard to comprehend. All of our family members were safe and had zero damage. Several houses that belong to friends of ours have now all been torn down by the front end loaders cleaning up debris. Here is but one picture:

There was something amazing that came out of this disaster? I was able to witness and be a part of God's people working, loving, cleaning, feeding, clothing to make a difference to victims affected by these storms. We spoke to many people who said "Thank God we are alive, we can replace our things" or "It's by God's mercy that we are still here". I don't have an explanation as to why natural disasters occur. I do know that in those times, God's people showed up big time and I will never forgot the things I saw during those days. Please continue to pray for all those affected.

In the last 20 days.....

We also celebrated Easter! Beautiful "Son"rise service, beautiful weather, awesome family time, and of course lots of good eats. Praying that Baby Clayton will be home to celebrate next Easter with us.

In the last 20 days....

We took our first ever family camping trip. And we SURVIVED! Actually, we did better than just survive, we had a great time! 2 nights, in a camper (got upgraded from a tent, best decision ever!!), on a Bay, with great friends, lots of little kids, and the greatest family ever.

In the last 20 days.....

I have become friends with a couple of ladies that have worked with the same agency we are working with. One is currently matched and is waiting for their precious baby to be born, (Hi Briana), the other has already received their blessing and have been enjoying their sweet boy for a little while now. (Hi Britanni). These ladies are extraordinary and have provided us with great insight. Please continue to pray for these adoptive Mom's, the birth families, and these little ones.

In the last 20 days....

We received 3 beautiful originals of our completed, approved Home Study!! Yay! So excited to have those precious gems in our hands! We immediately sent one of the originals to TX to be held in our file. Usually, agencies do not show your profile until you are homestudy approved, but our agency has been showing ours for nearly 2 months now. We could have been matched, but we would not have been able to take placement of the baby until we were home study approved. But, that situation did not come up and we have not been matched yet. We are still waiting for the day that we have been matched. "The Call" that will change our lives. Which is funny, because we feel that we have been "called" to be adoptive parents.

I will admit, it is harder for me to patient than it is for Jeff. At least on the outside. Oh, I really really try to be patient!! But the longing to hold this child is sometimes so much to bear. I know God's timing is perfect, I know we will receive the call sooner than later, I know we have come so far, and I KNOW without a doubt that when we bring baby home all of this wait will be completely worth it.

We have also talked about our birth mom allot recently. No, we don't know her yet, but we hope to have some sort of relationship with her. Whatever her comfort level. It hurts so bad knowing that our adoption, truly one of the most exciting times in our life can not occur without the heartache and suffering from baby's first Mom. There is no way for us to bring precious baby home, to fulfill this dream, without her going home with empty arms. We can only be thankful that she chose life and that she loved him/her enough to choose us, or any family. We can only pray that God's mercy and grace will be enough for her.

Tomorrow we celebrate Mother's Day. I have an amazing Mom. She is a great friend, listener, counselor, teacher, hugger, etc. She is really and truly awesome. I also have an incredible mother-in-law. I am so very blessed. I know that these two women would do anything for us. I cherish every bit of time we have together.

I also get to celebrate Mother's Day as a step-mom to my sweet Amber. When I said "I Do" to her sweet dad nearly 4 years ago, I vowed to love her as my own. I have always loved her. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I am pretty sure that's normal. And there was some definite transition when she came to live with us full time before our one year wedding anniversary. But I would not change a thing. Except, for maybe one thing. She longs to call me Mom. But she is not allowed. She slips up occasionally and calls me Mom because it is a natural thing to do, as I am the "mom figure" on a daily basis. It hurts that she feels guilty when she says it because she knows her Mom doesn't approve and has said she is adamant that Ams not call me Mom. We have tried to come up with different alternatives - "Mamma K", "Kiki", etc, but nothing sticks. It will be really interesting when our baby starts talking and calling me Momma, a name I have longed to hear for a lifetime.

Thank you for reading, for your continued prayers and encouragement. Can't wait to have some great news to share!!