What blessings will the New Year bring?

Another year is almost over! Hard to believe - all the planning and preparing for Christmas and then in a whirlwind it is over. The last 6 weeks have really been a blur! Vesta and I successfully made and delivered 65 cheesecakes and over 150 doz peanut butter balls!! When I casually mentioned to her a couple of months ago that maybe we could try a bake sale for raise money for our adoption, she said "Sure". I don't think either of us anticipated how it would grow!!!! We had a great time and were able to spend some quality time together in the process. We will be forever indebted to her. Also, I appreciate the help from Mom and Laura who gave up their time to roll peanut butter balls by the dozen! We delivered the last cake on Christmas Eve.

In the midst of all the baking Jeff and I completed 3 homestudy meetings!! They went really well, were actually a lot of fun, and I was sad when the time was up. The first 3 meetings occur in a neutral place, not in our home. We met in the nursery of our church, how fitting! :) We absolutely adore our social worker. We laugh allot, we (her and I) get a little teary eyed at times, and Jeff and I both feel very comfortable talking with her. She is a God fearing woman of strong Christian faith and has closed all of our meetings in prayer. What a blessing she is. The first meeting was both Jeff and I and we were asked about our reasons for adopting and just basic questions to get to know us. (She has our 3in file also) The 2nd meeting was just with Jeff and the 3rd was just with me. We were asked the same questions: How did you meet, what attracted you to each other, our strength's and weaknesses, childhood memories, about our parents and siblings, significant life experiences, our first marriages and why they ended in divorce, and a few others that have already slipped my mind. It's the "Jeff and Karen Show" as she calls it. Ha Ha. We have one more meeting to be held probably during the first week of January which will be at our house and include Jeff, Amber, and myself. She will take a tour of the house, ask us a few more questions, and then we will be complete!!! She will have about a 15 page summary of us and once everything is approved we will be "Paper Pregnant" and legally be able to adopt independently or with the agency in NC for 18 months!! Also, once our homestudy is approved we will be able to apply for grants to assist in our adoption expenses!

A dear friend let us borrow a bassinet and infant car seat so we do not have to buy one until after the baby is here. And another friend Lora, will be starting the sketches on the baby room mural soon. Can't hardly wait!! Mom found my old baby blanket that my Grandma Mae Kellum made for me when I was born. It definitely has some wear and tear but with a little TLC I think it will be beautiful again. It is 32 years old after all!!

We couldn't help but think that maybe Christmas 2010 would be our last without Baby Clayton. We anticipate great things for 2011! We hope and pray that each of our family and friends will have a safe and prosperous year!

Love & God Bless - Jeff & Karen

How great is our God...

How great is our God... I love that song. Brings a smile to my face. You know what else brings a smile to my face? The fact that my family and friends purchased 30 cheesecakes from our bake sale!! Each and every one of you are so fantastic!

We completed our home study paperwork (which was several inches thick!) and mailed to the agency. They confirmed receipt on November 19th!!! YIPPEE What a huge relief to have that finished and physically out of our hands. The agency then mailed/emailed requests to our references. We had to mail a check for $1800 so that our home study interviews can be completed. Well, I am so humbled to say that we sold enough T-shirts and enough cheesecakes that we were able to mail that check and have $12 leftover in the baby fund. How great is our God? When we started selling T-shirts in October, I had no idea that we would be so blessed. I guess I should have known. Yesterday we were matched with a caseworker from the agency, and we will be having our home interviews very soon. We can't wait! We are very excited about this part! Once our HS is complete, we are considered "Paper Pregnant"! Isn't that the funniest saying? I was thinking about this term and I started to make a humorous list of the pros and cons of adoption...

Pros:

No morning sickness
No labor pains
No swollen everything
No possible surgery
No possible Episiotomy (This always terrified me!)
Will feel great when baby comes home!
I still get maternity leave from work!

Cons:

I don't have a valid excuse for mood swings
No valid excuse for weird eating habits
No valid excuse for midnight ice cream runs
I can not eat for 2 and it be justified
No valid excuse to get out of moving heavy items

Hope this made you ladies smile! We are continuing our fund raising with another round of goodies! Only potentially $18k more to go (depends on if we are matched through the agency or have an independent situation). Once our home study is compete we will legally be able to adopt for 18 months in NC. Please continue to pray for the Mom out there that is facing a decision that will change all of our lives. Please continue to pray for the workers at the agency, they work tirelessly for their passion of placing children in Christian homes. Please continue to pray that God's will be done throughout this process.

We love you all!!

Jeff & Karen

What a busy few weeks!!

Hey everyone - thanks so much reading! If you visit regularly then you realize that it has been a few weeks since I have updated. Things are going well. After being put on hold from the agency we knew we had to really think about how we wanted to proceed. Quite interesting really, God had it all figured out. A situation arose that really opened our eyes to how amazing and how fast we could be presented with our baby. I will give you the gist without giving too many details.

One morning a couple of weeks ago started normal enough, I was sitting in my office at work with a member. My cell phone had vibrated several times but I was unable to take a minute to answer. Then an email popped up on my screen and it was a friend who has been helping us through this process and who has knowledge of various situations. Her message was simply: Call me ASAP. Well, I quickly finished with my member and closed my office door. I called her immediately. She said all in a rush "I haven't called you with any of the other situations that I have learned about but I was praying when I received a phone call. I could not get your face out of my mind and I knew I needed to call you. If you have ever prayed before you need to call your husband and pray right now. A young woman has given birth to a baby boy and she is checking out of the hospital in a couple of hours and she does not want her child." She proceeded to tell me a bit more and promised that she would be heading to the hospital so she could learn more. I told her paper wise we were not ready, we had been put on hold, and we did not have a home study. What I learned was that custody is a piece of paper, the adoption itself can be obtained later. And someone was needed to take custody of this baby. I began praying for a clear answer - was our son waiting for us in the hospital?

WOW - my heart started pounding and my palms started sweating. Jeff was working in Wilmington but I knew I needed to call him. I rushed into the closest office where my friend Lisa was working so I would be away from the members piling up in the lobby. I very quickly explained the situation and she immediately prayed for us as we were in tears. I called Jeff and explained what was going on, and here is where I should mention that he is so wonderful. He keeps me calm, centered, even kiltered. He very calmly said that at the very least we should attempt to get custody so that we know he is taken care of and if during the 7 day rescission period the birth mom changes her mind then so be it.

The timing was perfect as I was going to lunch anyway, not that I could even think of eating at a time like that. I called Mom and filled her in. "Pray Mom, pray hard, pray right now" I have no doubt she did. I called a couple of my closest friends and requested prayers! Mom met me at my house and promptly hugged me and started straightening my house. I was kicking myself for leaving dishes in the sink!! I was suddenly the most unprepared expectant mom on the planet!!

Well, this is where the story changes. By the time my lunch hour was up I received another call from my friend. The birth mom decided to work with an agency and had a family lined up. Apparently she had been working with an agency during pregnancy but backed out, then decided to work with them again. I was not upset because I kept thinking about the family that got the call to go to the hospital because they had been selected. Who knows how long they have been waiting? What a blessing for them. This precious baby boy was their gift, not ours. BUT, what an eye opener that something like this could happen so quickly! I kept remembering what our friend Tracy had said "It will happen in such a powerful fast way that you will know that God has it all under control." How very right she is.

Whew, after all of that excitement I contacted the agency and requested they process our home study in case an independent adoption situation arises. So in the 2 weeks since we have obtained birth certificates, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, references, written autobiographies, ordered background checks, obtained medical records, financial statements, tax returns, and a gamut of other required docs. Our goal is to have it finished by the end of the year. Of course, when all of our paperwork is complete, we are the mercy of the system. Please pray that we remain focused, driven, and dedicated. Please pray for our adoption finances. Thank you so much for all your continued support!! We love you all!!

HIS time, not ours

Found a verse a few days ago that reminded me of what we should be doing:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6

Oh, that is so very hard for me especially. I am naturally a worry wart, anxious, nervous, over analyzer, whatever kind of thing you want to call it. I worry about things, then I try to fix it, that is what I do. I want to have full control over a situation because that is the only way that I feel it will be the way I want or need it to be. I know I am not the only one that struggles with this.

We received our acknowledgement letter from the agency in the mail and it basically said that they only accept a certain number of families at one time and apparently they are already at their limit of families that had the same specifications as us, so they were going to keep our application on file and would let us know when they were able to proceed. Needless to say, I felt a bit discouraged and deflated. But after talking to Jeff and several other good friends/family I was reminded of several things. This is not about my time, everything is in God's time. This is not about my plan, but about God's perfect plan. Perhaps God has not created our baby yet. Or maybe it is God's plan for us to have an independent adoption versus working with an agency. We will continue to prepare the nursery and raise funds so that we will be as prepared as possible when we receive the call. We may look into other agencies as well.

We have had several people tell us that they want to be the "hero" in this process. They want to be the ones to call us because they know someone who knows someone who knows someone who wants to place their baby for adoption. Of course, this would be wonderful but we say that everyone gets to be the hero in this story. Because for everyone who has prayed for us, thought of us, sent emails and cards of encouragement, bought a T-shirt, you are all hero's and it means the world to us knowing that so many people love and pray for us and our baby. A dear friend told me that they are sure that our baby will come to us in such a powerful way that there will be absolutely no doubt that God was in control.

What a wonderful thought. So for now we continue to dream of tiny perfect hands and feet, of toothless grins, and cries that can only be comforted by the touch of Mommy and Daddy. And we know and trust that God is in control. He has planted this strong desire to adopt and grow our family and He will see us through.

Things are progressing!!

Ok, so did everyone give up on me posting an update? There has not been much to tell so I took a few weeks off with the promise that we would update once things started progressing. Also, in the last five weeks my beloved dog AJ disappeared and has yet to return, my cat delivered 7 kittens, Amber had a birthday bash, Jeff has gone out of town for a week, had a couple of touch and go days with my back, etc.... you know, LIFE! :) But this is what I have learned from all of that...

AJ was an amazing dog that was more than a dog to me. He made me laugh when my life was turned upside down after divorce. He had this uncanny way of making friends with all animals even letting a litter of kittens attempt to nurse. He loved all breeds,genders, and colors. If only humans could have that much love. He made Amber fall in love with dogs and learn they could be your best friend, and he convinced Jeff that it is OK to have a dog in the house! With the 7 kittens, we have all gotten to witness the miracle of life - from the first breaths, eyes opening, walking, to now eating and running everywhere. It is amazing to see something so tiny yet so perfectly formed.

We celebrated Amber's 8th birthday recently and it was so great to be surrounded with our family and friends. Family and friends in Jacksonville who have accepted her from the moment I introduced them to her when Jeff and I started dating nearly 5 years ago. She was such a little shy thing then. Some of you will remember that we spent many a Sunday morning in Sunday School with her because she absolutely couldn't stand to be by herself. The little girl who moved in full time with us when she was 6 years old and slept on floor next to our bed because she hadn't slept in a bed by herself. Now my beautiful 8 year old who rushes into church way ahead of us with only a quick kiss and goodbye. Who loves to sleep in her own big bed and wants to do everything on her own. I never thought I would miss her crying about not wanting to sleep in her room, but now she is growing up too fast. She amazes me everyday!

OK, on to adoption news. :) Our first application has been shipped along with a few pictures as requested. I agonized over what pictures to send. I know we will be required to make some photo albums with tons of pics, but I wanted these first few to be perfect. I chose one of the 3 of us in front of Mom's Christmas tree because that is one of my favorite places. We also sent a picture of us playing in the snow, one of Jeff & Amber on top of Stone Mtn, and a couple others. I hope they portray that we love spending time together, traveling, playing, etc. We should hear within 2 weeks if our application has been accepted, then we can proceed with the next steps!

Also, my brother Kevin designed our adoption t-shirts and he did a great job!! If anyone needs any design work, he is the one you want. The design shows the frame of a house with a heart inside. Outlined by the words: Open Heart, Open Home, Adoption = LOVE. There is a pic on my FB page as well as my profile picture on this blog. We will be selling the shirts for $12.00 each. We will deliver/ship. :) We ordered 100 shirts of various sizes and within the first day we have sold nearly 40 shirts. God is so good, and we want to thank each and every one of you who have purchased a shirt so far. It is apparent how much we are loved and supported by our family and friends. What a great thing to share with our baby one day - look at how many people wanted to help us achieve this dream.

After posting the T-shirt sales at work today I received a call from a co-worker that I have worked with in the same building for years. She said "I just want you to know that I am so excited for you. I was adopted at birth.." and she proceeded to tell me some of her story. She will be emailing me more and she suggested that I compile the stories to include in the journal for our baby. I never knew how many people have been affected by adoption. I would love to hear more stories, so feel free to share.

Well, I will close for now. Thank you for your continued prayers, excitement, encouragement and love.

Application is almost finished!

Hi everyone -

Our first application is almost finished and we have definitely learned a few things! First, we never put much thought into child rearing techniques, discipline, etc. We just kind of go with it with Amber. It just seems to work. Sometimes I am the bad guy, and sometimes Jeff is the bad guy. We tend to warn, and then punish, which yes, this includes spanking/popping when necessary. **Gasp** It's the way we were raised and how we feel our children should be raised. We have just a couple of questions left on the application. We can't quite seem to put our answer into words. Maybe someone can help decipher what they are looking for. The question is "What are your expectations for the child you are adopting?' We are probably over analyzing this question but I don't think it means "We want our child to be a brain surgeon at the age of 15" or "We expect our child to be an NBA star". How can you have expectations of a newborn? So, all you ladies out there that have been pregnant, if someone were to ask you "What are your expectations of your child?" How would you answer?

Also, we have been looking into some grant opportunities for helping to cover the cost of the adoption. We will need to have our home study done before we can apply. Hopefully the home study will be the next step. We are also open to any fundraising we may be able to do. Anyone have any creative ideas? All those years raising money for Relay for Life you would think I would have tons of ideas! As special as the American Cancer Society is to me, this is much harder. I think it is because it is easy to ask people to donate money for cancer treatment and research but I am concerned about having fundraisers to help cover the  adoption fees. The fees charged by our non-profit agency go to many things including birthmom counseling, medical expenses, administration, etc. This is where we have to truly rely on God. He led us to pursue adoption, and He will make a way. We have been praying about this and we know there is a way and we will not be discouraged.

Saw 2 cute baby shirts today on an adoption website: "Sorry Angelina, but I'm taken" which is funny cause if I was Angelina Jolie I could just go pick my baby out and be done with it. haha. The 2nd was "Sorry I kept you waiting" Aww, too cute.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Love you all and thanks so much for the prayers and support!

Dear Baby Clayton

08/12/10

Dear Baby Clayton,

I have been thinking about you allot lately. What will you look like? Will you have blue eyes like Jeff, Amber, and I, hazel eyes like your Grandma Linda, or something completely different? Will you have blond hair like Amber and your Uncle Kevin or brown hair like me? When I picture you, you are all bundled up so it's hard to tell. In my mind you have chubby cheeks just like me as an infant. Oh, and you smell and feel amazing.

I think it is important for you to know the family that you will be joining. Your Daddy is a one in a million. He is kind, generous, funny, and he works so hard to provide for us. He loves to fish and hunt, and don't worry, even if you are a girl you won't miss out. Daddy loves to take "his girls" fishing. Although he says we are a little loud in the tree stand! He has a strong faith and believes in doing what is right. He is the leader of our family although sometimes he lets me pretend I'm the boss. :)

Your big sister Amber is so very excited to meet you! Keeping her patient while waiting for you has been interesting to say the least. She is currently seven years old and has become quite used to being the old child and grandchild. But, she really wants to be a big sister! She told me today that even if you dont' look like us, it does not matter to her, she would still love you. And she said no one would ever pick on you or they would have to answer to her! I don't think you will have to worry about that! Now, the first time you are hogging all the spotlight it might be a bit difficult for her but we have reassured her that God makes sure that we all have enough love in our hearts for each of our children. Amber is a very smart, sweet, hilarious, beautiful girl that will definitely love you from Day 1.

You are definitely in luck when it comes to grandparents!! Your maternal Grandma Linda is amazing! She taught school for many many years and she has so many fun ways to teach you things. And she is super patient and will play the same game over and over, just ask Amber. Did I mention that she is super smart? Yep, she is absolutely the one you will want on your trivial pursuit team. (That's a game our family has played for years, usually boys against girls) She can color really well also! She will be one of the first ones to hold you, she has waited patiently and prayed for you for so long. Oh, and she lives right next door! Your maternal Grandpa Kenny is in Heaven now, but I know he knows everything going on down here, and he would love you from the start! He would have held you in his big strong arms and coo at you to get a smile. As you grew you would have been great pals. Don't worry, we will make sure you know all about him. I'm sorry he couldn't be there when you join our family.

Your paternal grandparents are pretty great as well. Grandpa Johnny is allot like your Dad. He is funny, works very hard to take care of his family, and loves the Lord. He also loves fishing and spending time with Amber. They have a grand time together. He will definitely teach you lots of neat things - especially how to fix things! You will be so blessed to have Grandma Debbie also. She will love on you, tend to your every need, sew, cook, and do everything in her power to spoil you! ha ha

Between these grandparents you don't stand a chance of not being rotten! :)

You also have 2 uncles. My brother is Uncle Kevin. Oh boy, now that is definitely a picture I want - him holding you! Whew! Uncle Kevin loves his family, works hard, and has a sarcastic wit that you will adore. He can also draw anything so feel free to ask him to draw whatever you want - Amber already does! He may seem tough (he has a few tattoos), but one look at you and he will melt.

Daddy's brother is Uncle Stephen. He is also an artist! He will teach you lots of things as you get older. He taught Amber how to play several little songs on a tiny piano. Twinkle twinkle little star.... He is a little shy, but who knows, you may be just the person to bring him out. :)

Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins OH MY! You have tons of extended family!! We try to get together as much as possible and we have a great time. It has changed over the years as people have grown, passed away, work, etc. but the core desire to spend time together is always there. We love to get together at Uncle Sam & Aunt Deb's and sit around a fire and the kids love to play on Uncle Sam's pirate ship tree house that he built himself! He is super talented and really patient with all your little cousins - he is always full of surprises and creative ideas! You have family in all types of professions: School teachers, Librarian, Park Superintendent, Dental office, Police Officer, School Bus Garage, Nurse, really the list can go on and on. There will no shortage of family members! We have some great friends too that have always stood by Daddy and I. It is very important to find friendships that can last a lifetime. And sometimes, if you are real lucky like us, your best friends are your family!

You will also have an amazing church family. Our family at Church are the best in the world. They have continually prayed for you and lifted us up with encouraging words. They are all so excited to meet you. I can't wait for baby dedication day! What a beautiful day that will be. We have longed for you for so long we can't wait to tell everyone that will listen how awesome God is that he brought you to us.

You will also have a biological family. We don't know anything about them yet, but we can assure you that one day you will know what we know. For now, all I know is they must have loved you very much to give you the chance to grow inside mommy and then have them make such an unselfish decision to place you with our family.

Wow - you are a lucky baby to have so many wonderful family and friends adore you!

Love you Baby Clayton,

Am I really blogging??

Hi! I never really thought much about blogging, being a blogger, or ever having a need to blog about anything. It has been mentioned to me several times recently from friends/family that would like to keep up with our adoption process. So here I am, blogging for the first time. I think with every good story, you need a little background information.

Jeff and I met in January 2006 and married in November 2007. Given my past medical history we knew that the odds would be stacked against us in having biological children together, but we were ever hopeful. Well, after several specialist visits, fertility treatments, and the absolute emotional roller coaster that is INFERTILITY we took a step back. During this time as we were praying for God's will to be done something quite amazing happened. Every time we turned on the TV, opened a magazine, or tuned into the radio someone was speaking on adoption. Literally, everyday it was presented to us. It had been something that we had thought about in the past but we (I) was just not quite ready for. I suppose some people grow up and just know that they wanted to adopt one day. I was not one of those people. I grew up wanting the whole experience, I didn't want to miss a thing. Every little move, ultrasound, etc, I wanted it all. But that is not God's plan for me. After much praying we decided to further look into the adoption process. Once we decided that this was the route we WANTED to go and not the route we HAVE to go the relief was immediate!

We felt a huge weight had been lifted because we no longer have to pursue fertility treatment to grow our family. No more monthly roller coaster of emotions. Am I pregnant? Could it be? Anyone reading this ever longed for a child will know exactly what I am saying. Your mind plays tricks on you and before you know it you have your hopes up even though you promised yourself you wouldn't this month. We are not naive to believe that adoption is not full of emotions as well, but it is also such a beautiful thing. It could be a long, complicated, stressful, and emotional time but we have a strong belief that since God placed this desire in our hearts to adopt then He will give us the tools and resources to achieve. Someone told me the other day that adoption  is so expensive (which it is), and that it might be unrealistic. Hmm, my only response was that my God is a HUGE God and He can move all mountains!

So, that's a little back story for you. So where are we now? We are right in the middle of application number 1! ha ha. We sometimes feel like we need a Masters degree to complete all the paperwork. Essays, statements, etc. We were introduced to an amazing woman who was able to answer so many of our questions and to offer guidance. We have chosen to work with Christian Adoption Services located in Matthews, NC. They are a non-profit Christian adoption agency. They counsel birth mothers before birth as well as after delivery. The birth Mom can actually choose us! This is very exciting. After our first application is accepted, we are required to attend training, and then our formal application/home study will be accepted. I will go more into those steps as they come up.

We have been asked about what we are looking for in a child? I take that to mean: boy/girl, race, nationality, etc. After much thought we would like to raise a domestic infant of either gender! We trust that God already has Baby Clayton planned for us, and he/she may not even be formed yet. How amazing is that? What a great feeling to know that while He is preparing us for this journey He is also preparing a Birthmom to make the biggest decision of her life. WOW!

Next time I will cover how we told our parents, and especially Amber of our decision to pursue adoption.

Ok, I am going to close for now. Are any of you still awake? haha I agreed to do this but I did not say it would be entertaining!

I will post one question before I close... if you could only say one sentence to the Birthmom, what would it be? Ours would be: "Thank you for choosing life"

Thanks for the encouragement, prayers, and kind words! Love ya- The Claytons