Found a verse a few days ago that reminded me of what we should be doing:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6
Oh, that is so very hard for me especially. I am naturally a worry wart, anxious, nervous, over analyzer, whatever kind of thing you want to call it. I worry about things, then I try to fix it, that is what I do. I want to have full control over a situation because that is the only way that I feel it will be the way I want or need it to be. I know I am not the only one that struggles with this.
We received our acknowledgement letter from the agency in the mail and it basically said that they only accept a certain number of families at one time and apparently they are already at their limit of families that had the same specifications as us, so they were going to keep our application on file and would let us know when they were able to proceed. Needless to say, I felt a bit discouraged and deflated. But after talking to Jeff and several other good friends/family I was reminded of several things. This is not about my time, everything is in God's time. This is not about my plan, but about God's perfect plan. Perhaps God has not created our baby yet. Or maybe it is God's plan for us to have an independent adoption versus working with an agency. We will continue to prepare the nursery and raise funds so that we will be as prepared as possible when we receive the call. We may look into other agencies as well.
We have had several people tell us that they want to be the "hero" in this process. They want to be the ones to call us because they know someone who knows someone who knows someone who wants to place their baby for adoption. Of course, this would be wonderful but we say that everyone gets to be the hero in this story. Because for everyone who has prayed for us, thought of us, sent emails and cards of encouragement, bought a T-shirt, you are all hero's and it means the world to us knowing that so many people love and pray for us and our baby. A dear friend told me that they are sure that our baby will come to us in such a powerful way that there will be absolutely no doubt that God was in control.
What a wonderful thought. So for now we continue to dream of tiny perfect hands and feet, of toothless grins, and cries that can only be comforted by the touch of Mommy and Daddy. And we know and trust that God is in control. He has planted this strong desire to adopt and grow our family and He will see us through.
