What I learned today....

I went to church today, the first Sunday since our adoption was "disrupted". I have to be honest, I was dreading going to church. I have been really strong all week (except for day one which was pretty much a disaster) but being at church always has the potential to reduce me to tears. It's being in God's house with my other family. I also needed to pass out the thank-you cards for the gifts we received at our baby shower. I was also dreading that. There is no handbook for this, I have no idea what the protocol is. I have been kicking myself for not passing these cards out sooner. Why did I not pass them out a couple days after the shower????

Anyway, this is what I learned.....

• There is a whole older generation that does not have Facebook, therefore they did not know what had transpired. This led to several of the sweet older ladies that I adore approaching me smiling from ear to ear asking "How much longer?" "How many more days?". I watched their smiles fall as they watched my eyes fill up. I hated doing that.

• Apparently I am a crazy person for wondering or worrying how to return gifts, or if I should even ask if people wanted their gifts back. I was told more than once, that I should not even think that, and more so, even received 2 more gifts today! Sweet sweet ladies, they removed the gift cards from their envelopes while hiding the handwritten cards in their purses. They didn't want to upset me with their kind words. Love them.

• Amber is so strong! She had also written thank-you cards for the gifts that she received. She passed them out with a smile on her face and a thank you on her lips. Love her so much. 

• There are many many many people who are praying for a miracle!!!! People praying specifically for the birth father to change his mind. For him to realize that raising him might not be in the best interest of Lil Man.

I am so very thankful that we have such a good relationship with D. I wish I could fix all of this for her. She is hurting but is so strong at the same time! She was comfortable knowing that Caleb would have a great home and now that comfort is not there. I hurt for her. Please continue to lift her up in your prayers. Pray that she be comforted and at peace with her decisions. Pray that she considers her feelings and emotions and not worry as much about the feelings and emotions of others. Pray that she be surrounded by loving friends and family who will encourage her, and not question her. Pray that those that mean the most to her will be open minded, open hearted and able to deal with their own emotions. Pray for her health and the health of baby boy. Her due date may be extended, but who knows, maybe we need that extra time for a miracle!!!

Love - K.