Here are a few questions regarding our adoption that we get regularly, so I thought I would post a FAQ list for anyone who is also wondering about the same things....
1. Where are you in the process? We have finished 3 of the 4 home study visits with the 4th one being completed this week. Once the HS is complete and written up by our caseworker and approved then we will be paper ready and legal to adopt in NC for 18 months.
2. How long do you have to wait? We have no idea! ha ha, this is totally a GOD thing. Waiting is hard sometimes but we have to remain patient and faithful that God's timing is perfect. The statistics with the agency show that their waiting families are usually placed with their babies withing 9-12months. Not bad at all. However, it could be allot less or longer.
3. Can you adopt without going through the agency? Yes, we will be paper legal for 18 months and with the help of an adoption attorney we can finalize an adoption without going through the agency. This means that our doctor, friend, family, neighbor, coworker, etc can call us at any time if they know of someone who is interested in making an adoption plan for their unborn child.
4. How does the agency match you? Once we become one of their waiting families we make a profile that will be on their website and also a physical book of our lives that they will be able to share with the birthmom. She will then choose to meet us. :) We are not notified every time our book will be shown.
5. How much does it cost? This is a good one! Usually followed by "Why does it cost so much?" Our adoption through the agency will cost around $22,000. Yes, we realize that is a ton of money. But our God is awesome and since he has led us to this adoption decision, we know there will be a way. Since we started raising funds in October with our Thanksgiving and Christmas sale and designing and selling T-shirts, we have raised over $3,000!!! We were able to fully pay for our home study and have over a $1k left in the adoption fund for when the next check will be mailed.
Application $200 - complete
Home Study $1800 - complete
Once we become an official "waiting family" - $5,000
Remaining due at placement with agency -around $15,000
Yep, that leaves us with roughly $20k more to raise, save, and borrow. Once our HS if final we can apply for grants from private organizations so hopefully that will help.
6. Do you know what you are going to get? The Baby that God has planned for us. A baby with amazing baby feet, sweet cheeks, and simply irresistible! :) ha ha We are not gender specific, we would be thrilled with boy or girl! Amber wants a girl but she thinks it will be a boy. Jeff and I both think it is going to be a girl. And TWINS would be fantastic!!!
7. Can the birth mom change her mind? Yes, she can. She can sign papers at the hospital and still change her mind. In NC she has 7 days to change her mind, that is her right. And if you and I were in her position we would want that 7 days also. We have decided that the baby will come home with us for those 7 days (the other option is foster care) and in the event she changes her mind at least we were blessed with those days. YES, this would be heartbreaking, yes we will be devastated. But we will have to rely on God and know that for some reason that was not supposed to be our baby. Oh but there will be some major praying for those 7 days while we are home with baby waiting for the time to be up. Then, it is the biggest party, baby shower, celebration that you have ever seen!! But while I type that, I already feel a sense of sadness for the birth mom. What will be the greatest time for us will be the hardest for her. She and her family will be in our prayers as well.
8. Will the child know that they were adopted? Absolutely! Gone are the days of secret adoptions and dark hidden secrets. Baby Clayton will definitely know where he/she comes from, that their birth mom loved him/her very much and that God chose Baby Clayton to be our baby.
9. Why are you adopting? I guess this should have been #1 on the list. We are adopting for several reasons. After many years of fertility treatment, tests, medicines, and one heartbreaking month after another we came to a pass in the road. We grieved for the fact that the possibility of having biological children together is very slim. But we also knew that we wanted to grow our family. God literally put adoption in our faces and on our heart. Every magazine we picked up contained an article, our fave radio station started doing an adoption advertisement, TV channels were airing shows on adoption! We knew then how we were supposed to grow our family.
Well, I guess that it is for now. If you have a question that is not on the list, please feel free to ask :) We love talking about this process!
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