Encouragement

Thought I would share some of my most favorite verses for encouragement, they definitely hit home during this time of wait. I pray they will bring comfort to anyone waiting on the Lord, or anyone going through trials. (Who isn't?) haha

Believing God for anything in life grows and strengthens our faith.  The more we wait for it, the more our faith can grow. God gave us an awesome promise in Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

 "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.  Psalm 37:7 Many times we can get so restless when we are waiting for something.  If you're like me and try to plan everything, then it can extremely frustrating when waiting messes up your plans!  And can be disheartening when you see women get pregnant, unmarried, or those who don't even want children.

"Lord, when doubt fills my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer."Psalm 94:19

"There is comfort in the fact that God does have your child in His Hands. He is the one who formed your child's body and knew your child's days and purpose before conception." Psalm 139:13-16

"The things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair. For these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" H 2:3

Wordless Wednesday

It's a Blog Birthday!

The Pursuit of Baby Clayton blog celebrates 1 year of existence today! I can't believe I actually stuck with it! Not only have I managed to write a couple dozen posts, but I have thoroughly enjoyed it. Something kinda calming about being able to rant, knowing it's out there for the world to read or not read. Our little blog has had over 3,000 visits, yet has only 22 "official" followers. Tons of friends have said they read the blog on a regular basis, but follow anonymously. I have started friendships with other bloggers in the adoption world, which has been a great benefit of blogging. I love to rejoice in their happy news of a baby joining a family, or lifting them up in prayer when an unforseen delay is handed to them. At least 5 times a day I am asked "any news yet?" from coworkers, friends, some of my members at work, etc. I just smile and say "nope, just waiting". I need to come up with something better to say. I'm glad that people ask. I love that people are interested and I know that these folks that say they are praying, are really praying. One of my fave members from work is the sweetest older gentleman, in his 80's and a widower. Love him so much! He comes to see me weekly (under the disguise that he needs account help), but I don't care, I enjoy his company hopefully as much as he enjoys mine. Each week he says "First things first, do we have any baby news?" And each week I say "No, nothing yet" with a smile. He always responds "Well Karen, I must not be praying hard enough, I will pray more specific tomorrow". (Oh, and he is convinced the baby will be a boy)  I adore this sweet man. I hope he is around for a very long time.  

Each week, I send an email to our social worker at the agency just to check in. She is always extremely patient and encouraging although I'm sure my weekly emails are annoying. If they are, she is doing a great job of concealing her annoyance. Yesterday she said they were working with several new birthmoms who had just recently contacted the agency and she hoped we would be chosen soon. Oh boy, me too.

There was some movement on the agency website. Two new families were added to the waiting parents list, and one family was moved from the waiting list to the matched & waiting list. There are currently 12 families on the waiting list, and 4 waiting for babies to be born. On their website they also keep a list of babies they have placed this year. You know I had to count them, ok so I have counted them several times. Today the count was 55 babies placed this year. And for those of you that know I like statistics, you know I had to do the math. That is 6.85 babies a month so far this year. :) That is pretty good odds! I know we are gonna receive a call very soon!

So what else is going on in our family besides adoption? My brother is engaged!! He is engaged to a fabulous woman named Laura, and yes, we LOVE her! She is truly awesome and very good for him! She fits right in, and is already a great Aunt for Ams. I can't wait to see her with new baby Clayton. They are planning a wedding for October 2012, can't wait! She will make a beautiful bride and my brother is going to be so handsome. I'm so happy that he has met his match.

We have had a busy Summer, especially Amber. Vacation Bible School, week of horse camp, week of family vaca in the mountains, a couple of weeks with the grandparents, and she is now spending a couple of weeks with her Mom. I miss her terribly when she is not here. She will be celebrating her 9th birthday next month!!! How could that shy little 3 year old girl I met a long time ago be the same gregarious, outgoing, funny, smart, BEAUTIFUL almost 9 year old??? Scary! While she is gone this week I have performed an Extreme Room Makeover on her bedroom, she is gonna love it! Well, at least I hope she does, cause I'm not planning on painting again anytime soon. :)

Anyway, happy one year blog world! Thanks for all those that have followed our journey this year!

Love, Jeff & Karen

A post about nothing

Hello all......

There is absolutely nothing new to share. No updates, matches, potential matches, etc. But I was told today that I needed to update my blog. So here it is. ha ha

I spoke with our social worker at the agency last week. They do not inform us when our profile is shown, but she did say that our profile is very well liked by all at the agency and that she did not suggest making any changes at this time. They are working with several new birth moms at this time and are busy collecting medical histories, etc and then profiles will be shown. Perhaps our birth mom will be in this new round of activity.

So, please continue to pray for the agency, birth moms, and our family.

XOXO - Jeff & Karen

The weight of waiting.....

It's 4th of July. We really thought we would be holding our little "firecracker" by now. In the 5 weeks or so since our last blog post, not much has happened. The birth families we mentioned last post have chosen families. I suppose those babies were not the babies God has intended for our family. We have not received any new news from the agency. I spoke with them last week to see if there was anything we should do such as updating our profiles or change our pictures, etc. We were told everything looked great and they they are working with several new birth moms and are in the process of collecting their paperwork, prenatal care info, etc. So, maybe, hopefully, wishfully, faithfully, one of these families will be the one we are waiting on.


Jeff and I are both losing steam. We are tired of waiting. I know, that is not the right attitude. Some days are better than others. Some days I hardly think of adoption or waiting or nursery decorating or baby names at all. But other days.....those are the tough times. The days when we are disappointed because the phone has not rung, we have not been chosen, and there is no end in sight for this season of waiting.


At the beginning of the year, we said, Please Lord let it be by Easter. Please let it be by Mother's Day. Please let it be by Father's Day. Please let it be by Fourth of July and so on.


We are more than half way through this year. We have family vacation coming up next week, and we were so so so praying that baby would be here, that we would never have to spend another family vacation without our baby.


Oh Lord I want you to help. While I am waiting, I want you to help me. Help us see that You are neither late nor early. Your timing is always perfect.

Possibilities are endless

Well, once again it has been a few weeks since I sat down to write. Not really tons to tell. We are almost into June, which means we are almost in the month of July. July will be one year since we started this process. I remember that because we took a huge stack of paperwork with us on our family beach vacation last year. It was on that vacation that we told Amber, and then Jeff's parents that we were going to adopt! That was a fun time! We have come a long way since then. Here we sit, all paperwork, home visits, fingerprints, biographies, etc are complete, and we are just waiting. I think this period of waiting is much harder than the previous months, simply because there is nothing for me to do. Those that know me, know that I love a checklist, well, maybe several checklists. I like to add completed items to the checklist just so I have the satisfaction of crossing them off! Yeah, I know that sounds crazy. But I also know there are those of you out there that do the SAME thing! ha ha

In our binder of all things adoption, I have several lists.

People to call when we get the first call
People to call when we get the call that it is time to fly out
People to call to have them help call (think phone tree)
Packing list
List of things to be included in carry-on for plane
List of things that can be in suitcase to be checked

This has been a particularly hard week. Started out pretty exciting but has ended somewhat anticlimactic so far....I guess the week is not technically over yet. (I remain hopefully optimistic)

We usually would not be told when our profile will be shared with birthmoms, but Monday and Tuesday we received emails asking if we would consider having our profiles shown to 2 cases with special circumstances.  One is a baby girl, the other a boy. Both due within 5 days of each other. In 9 weeks. After much thought, prayer, and some research, we said yes to to showing our profiles, knowing that we would receive additional information as it became available. Last word was on Tuesday, that our profile (as well as any of the other 11 waiting families) would probably be shown by the end of the week. We have not heard anything else.

I will say, that we realize why we have been waiting. If we had received a call last year, right after we started this process, we would have said NO to both of these cases. No, that does not make us eager or mean that we are settling, it means that we have opened our eyes to the fact that not all babies are born into perfect circumstances! Not all babies have a smooth start. Sometimes there is risky behavior, sometimes proper pre-natal care is out of reach for these woman. Sometimes, it takes a family to be willing to say YES to change a life. To give a chance. To make a difference. If neither of these families choose us, hopefully they will choose another of the waiting families with our agency. That means 2 more waiting families off the list, but more importantly 2 babies will have their forever homes.

Now, more than ever we know that God is hard at work. Preparing our hearts to be ready when our baby is ready. Please continue to pray for our process, the birth moms, the agency, and us.

Thanks for reading!

In the last 20 days....

On the day after my last post, April 16th, we had several very strong, deadly tornado's leave a path of destruction across our state, including our city. It was devastating, heart breaking, hard to comprehend. All of our family members were safe and had zero damage. Several houses that belong to friends of ours have now all been torn down by the front end loaders cleaning up debris. Here is but one picture:

There was something amazing that came out of this disaster? I was able to witness and be a part of God's people working, loving, cleaning, feeding, clothing to make a difference to victims affected by these storms. We spoke to many people who said "Thank God we are alive, we can replace our things" or "It's by God's mercy that we are still here". I don't have an explanation as to why natural disasters occur. I do know that in those times, God's people showed up big time and I will never forgot the things I saw during those days. Please continue to pray for all those affected.

In the last 20 days.....

We also celebrated Easter! Beautiful "Son"rise service, beautiful weather, awesome family time, and of course lots of good eats. Praying that Baby Clayton will be home to celebrate next Easter with us.

In the last 20 days....

We took our first ever family camping trip. And we SURVIVED! Actually, we did better than just survive, we had a great time! 2 nights, in a camper (got upgraded from a tent, best decision ever!!), on a Bay, with great friends, lots of little kids, and the greatest family ever.

In the last 20 days.....

I have become friends with a couple of ladies that have worked with the same agency we are working with. One is currently matched and is waiting for their precious baby to be born, (Hi Briana), the other has already received their blessing and have been enjoying their sweet boy for a little while now. (Hi Britanni). These ladies are extraordinary and have provided us with great insight. Please continue to pray for these adoptive Mom's, the birth families, and these little ones.

In the last 20 days....

We received 3 beautiful originals of our completed, approved Home Study!! Yay! So excited to have those precious gems in our hands! We immediately sent one of the originals to TX to be held in our file. Usually, agencies do not show your profile until you are homestudy approved, but our agency has been showing ours for nearly 2 months now. We could have been matched, but we would not have been able to take placement of the baby until we were home study approved. But, that situation did not come up and we have not been matched yet. We are still waiting for the day that we have been matched. "The Call" that will change our lives. Which is funny, because we feel that we have been "called" to be adoptive parents.

I will admit, it is harder for me to patient than it is for Jeff. At least on the outside. Oh, I really really try to be patient!! But the longing to hold this child is sometimes so much to bear. I know God's timing is perfect, I know we will receive the call sooner than later, I know we have come so far, and I KNOW without a doubt that when we bring baby home all of this wait will be completely worth it.

We have also talked about our birth mom allot recently. No, we don't know her yet, but we hope to have some sort of relationship with her. Whatever her comfort level. It hurts so bad knowing that our adoption, truly one of the most exciting times in our life can not occur without the heartache and suffering from baby's first Mom. There is no way for us to bring precious baby home, to fulfill this dream, without her going home with empty arms. We can only be thankful that she chose life and that she loved him/her enough to choose us, or any family. We can only pray that God's mercy and grace will be enough for her.

Tomorrow we celebrate Mother's Day. I have an amazing Mom. She is a great friend, listener, counselor, teacher, hugger, etc. She is really and truly awesome. I also have an incredible mother-in-law. I am so very blessed. I know that these two women would do anything for us. I cherish every bit of time we have together.

I also get to celebrate Mother's Day as a step-mom to my sweet Amber. When I said "I Do" to her sweet dad nearly 4 years ago, I vowed to love her as my own. I have always loved her. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I am pretty sure that's normal. And there was some definite transition when she came to live with us full time before our one year wedding anniversary. But I would not change a thing. Except, for maybe one thing. She longs to call me Mom. But she is not allowed. She slips up occasionally and calls me Mom because it is a natural thing to do, as I am the "mom figure" on a daily basis. It hurts that she feels guilty when she says it because she knows her Mom doesn't approve and has said she is adamant that Ams not call me Mom. We have tried to come up with different alternatives - "Mamma K", "Kiki", etc, but nothing sticks. It will be really interesting when our baby starts talking and calling me Momma, a name I have longed to hear for a lifetime.

Thank you for reading, for your continued prayers and encouragement. Can't wait to have some great news to share!!