10 months

My sweet little baby is growing up! Way too fast. Everyone said it would happen, but I didn’t want to believe them! While he still loves to be held, especially in the mornings and as soon as I get home from work, he is also gaining more and more independence every day. When he is ready to get down, he squirms and wiggles until his feet hit the floor, and then he is off to explore his pile of toys, or the wheel on the pack N play, or the pedals on the piano, of any of his other things he is interested in. At 10 months he just amazes us. He is literally learning something new everyday. Yesterday, he mimicked me blowing him kisses through the door, and this morning he waved and blew me a kiss when I left. This week he also stood up in the middle of the living room, without assistance and just stood there. When he realized what he had done I think he was stunned, and he plopped back down to the floor. He is still cruising the furniture and makes quick work of clearing off any shelf or side table that he has access too. We had to install cabinet locks recently also cause he is becoming quite the little explorer. Opening and almost closing doors have become quite fascinating as well. He still has an obsession with Barney but we have branched out to include Curious George, Mickey Mouse, and Pajanimals, but Barney is still his number one fave in the morning while drinking his bottle. When he hears that intro music he just laughs, says “Bar Bar” or something to that affect, and claps his little hands, or taps them on the bottle. Sweetest thing ever. I’m convinced that watching him drink from his bottle might be one of my favorite sights. I know his bottle drinking days will be nearing an end since we have started introducing the sippy cup, but there is just something about his little lips on the bottle. He loves it so much and I love to hear his little grunts and watch him fall asleep drinking, playing with his hair and him rubbing my face. I hope and pray I remember these special times always. He has been busy playing with a few of his fave toys he received for Christmas – a remote control, a cell phone with Grover, a little dump truck that carries blocks, and a dinosaur that bounces little plastic balls inside and they bounce out. Gets him laughing every time. He loves any kind of box or bag that he can put toys in and then remove them, over and over.

After battling a stuffy nose and cough for a couple of weeks I took him to the Doc at the beginning of January. Just a bad cold, but he also had an ear infection, so another round of antibiotics was prescribed. He seems fine now, back to his normal playful self, and THANKFULLY has a clear and dry nose! He and I both were getting tired of having to suction it out all the time!

Good thing about having to take him to the doc was getting him weighed. He is still hovering around 19lbs, not much gain from last month, but he really feels more solid to me.

19lbs

Size 4 diapers

Drinks 6/8 oz every few hours – definitely drinking less now that he is eating more solids

Eats a small amt at breakfast, then lunch and dinner

Snacks – puffs, arrowroot crackers, mum mum

My sweet not so little baby boy – You are so very much loved! You make Mommy melt with your sneaky little grins and when you rub my face and hair. I love your curiousness and desire to know everything about your surroundings. I love your ability to make someone feel so special when you laugh and play with them. I love your obsession for your big sissy and how you follow her around as fast as your knees will allow you to do so. I LOVE how you are sleeping so well and when I lay you in your crib you just nuzzle down without a peep. I LOVE that I watch you on the monitor playing with your bunny in the crib, rubbing his floppy ears. Not crying, just playing in the early morning light, and trusting that someone will come pick you up. I love that when I open your door in the morning you start bouncing and jumping, so happy to see me. I love that when you wrap your little arms around my neck you start humming “mmm mmm”. I love you buddy boy and I am so thankful you are mine.

Christmas 2012

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were a complete whirlwind in our family probably much like everyone else. Christmas Eve ranks very high as one of my most fave days of the year. I love getting together with the family, eating good food, opening presents, watching the kids run around filled with excitement, and even the annual wrapping paper fight. We usually have Christmas Eve at my Mom’s house but this year it was held at our cousin’s new house down the street, what a beautiful house they have! Plenty of room, it was beautifully decorated and the kids loved having lots of different rooms to play in. As a bonus to Mom, she didn’t have a house to clean before or after the event! Having Buddy Boy this year has made unwrapping presents quite interesting! He thoroughly enjoying ripping the paper but quickly wanted to move on to something else. After we all had our bellies full, and the presents were opened it was time to head home and get the kids to bed. Amber said she wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep because she was too excited, well; she had no problem once her head hit the pillow! Caleb went down quickly also thanks to the Benadryl for the runny nose he has been battling. When Santa had completed his job it was time for sleep! We both woke at 7:45 and realized both kids were still asleep!! That never happens!!! We actually had to wake them both up! The next hour was a rush of excitement, seeing what Santa had brought, flying paper, and lots of noisy toys! We then loaded up and went next door for Mom’s annual breakfast – always the same, always great! Pigs in a blanket, cinnamon rolls, and this year breakfast casserole. Yummy! Then we opened more presents, we were all so blessed with lots of great presents. I failed to get many pictures the whole day, we were just so busy making sure Caleb didn’t eat anything since the floor was covered! He was busy going from bag to box and repeat. He was so funny! Amber loved all of her gifts, lots of clothes, books, and electronic stuff. From Mom’s we headed to Jeff’s parent’s house an hour and a half away. Both of the kids got in a good nap on the way, and actually so did I. Good old Jeff did the driving for us. We had lunch, opened even more presents and rested the remainder of the afternoon. Amber left for her Mom’s house and Jeff, Caleb and I headed back home that evening. The house looked like a bomb had gone off so we did some quick cleaning and got everything back in order. We had a wonderful, busy, fun, Christmas! For so many years I prayed and begged and hoped and dreamed of having a baby to share Christmas with. Oh how amazing it is for that dream to come true. Hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends!

 

 

9 mo

Little man is quickly growing up! November was not the greatest month in our household due to lots of sickness but we are on the upswing now.

First, the last week of October Caleb had his first ear infection; I mentioned that in the last post. Well, after being on the antibiotics for a week, he broke out in a head to toe measle looking rash! It was so pitiful! He was literally covered every little inch of him with red bumps when soon morphed into hive like blotches over the next couple of days. It was not bothersome to him at all though, thank goodness. The Doc said it was a possible reaction to the antibiotics, but most likely a viral rash of some sort. A week later he was all cleared up.

Three weeks later I was stricken by an awful stomach bug. I thought we were in the clear because the kids had stayed the night with Jeff’s parents, but they soon called us and said that buddy boy was throwing up and had diarrhea. L They brought him home and stayed the night so that I could rest. That was a Sunday. On Monday night as I was cleaning up more throw-up from Caleb, Amber gets out of bed and runs to the bathroom. Another one bites the dust. I go to our room to hand Caleb to Jeff so I could change clothes, well when he wakes up, he too runs to the bathroom. And yet another one bites the dust. The next morning, I called the in-laws to let them know that our entire house was now afflicted and guess what? Johnny, Deb, and Stephen were all sick too! I called my Mom and Aunt, they were both sick as well. I have never seen anything quite like this virus! It hits you like a ton of bricks, out of nowhere. A few days later we thought we were all ok, so we went ahead with our Thanksgiving plans. That might not have been the greatest idea we had ever had because every single person that attended dinner came down with the same virus within 2 days. In case you were counting – that is 20 people that were sick in my family within the same week!!! LYSOL!!!

After a few days of being sick Caleb was still having some issues keeping his bottle down and once again, he had a rash! Not as bad as the first time, and it looked different, being mostly on his face and dry, patchy, and seems to itch as well. Back to the doctor we went. Apparently the bacteria that digests lactose lives on the outside of your stomach so when little man was throwing up that was the first to go which rendered him temporarily lactose intolerant. A can of soy formula was prescribed and the Doc said he should be back to normal pretty soon. He also said the rash is another viral rash, no treatment, just wait it out. His body is clear now, just his little cheeks and forehead. I really think it looks like eczema though, going to take him back again if it doesn’t clear up soon.

 

Ok, so that has been our month of November! So glad that it's almost over! I didn’t even write a Thanksgiving post cause everyone was still feeling blah, but obviously you know how super overwhelmingly thankful I am!!!

Caleb is crawling everywhere and pulling up on everything! He also started saying Ma Ma over and over! And I must say he has the sweetest little voice. When I don’t talk to him right away, he gets louder and louder and draws out the first syllable. Maaaaa Ma

 

Here are his 9mo stats:

 

Weight - 18.5lbs

Length - 26 1/2 inches

Size 3 diapers

Clothes - 6mo, some 9mo as well

 

He still loves loves loves to eat and in enjoying some more table food as well! He pretty much eats anything and everything he can get his hands on. He is still the sweetest little fella we could have ever been blessed with. His smiles melt my heart and I love to see him bounce in the crib with excitement when I walk in the room in the morning. He loves us, he trusts us, and he is ours.

 

We love you buddy boy and we are so thankful you are ours!

 

8 months

Once again, I am super way behind on posting to this little blog. At least he hasn't turned 9 months yet, so I am not too far behind. LOL

Once again, another month has snuck up on me. I can not fathom that we are nearing the holiday season. I also can not fathom that I have a baby boy sleeping in the next room who will be helping us celebrate these holidays. So many Thanksgiving's and Christmas’s have gone by in years past that I dreamt of having a baby to share them with. It’s all going by way too fast though. I just want to freeze frame these days. He is getting more and more fun and it’s getting harder to be away from him. It’s hard to leave for work now because he cries as I walk out the door. I wish I could hold his snuggly little body next to mine all day and never have to leave him. He’s always sweet but in the mornings he is particularly sweet with his messy hair, sleepy eyes and laid back personality. We have our little morning routine and I think I enjoy it as much as he does. When he wakes, anywhere between 6 -7am he is usually crying to let us know he has had enough and wants out of his crib! He cries through his quick diaper change but it’s a necessary evil because the sopping thing is usually on the verge of exploding and has to weigh 5lbs! We then walk into the living room to our favorite chair with a bottle and blanket in hand. He laughs and squeals at the TV in anticipation of what he knows is coming on the screen. Barney is the major part of his morning routine. That’s right folks, my little man is absolutely hooked on Barney! He stays enthralled from the first little intro music until the “I love you” song in the end. Once the show has started (Thank goodness for Netflix with Barney readily available!) he lays his head against my arm and lazily drinks his bottle. I love this time before the rush of getting ready for school and work even if I do go to work with Barney songs in my head.

This month has proven to be another one of growth and development. He has modified his crawling again, it’s looks like a wounded warrior crawl, one leg up so his foot is flat on floor, and the other leg bent so his knee is touching. Sometimes, he is on all fours and sometimes he just hops on his padded bottom to get where he is going. It is so funny! He has no problems getting to where he wants to go and usually makes quick work of it! He is also pulling up on anything he can get a hold of, couch, chair, and your legs. We had to lower the mattress in the crib because he was pulling up and looking over the top with a sly little look in his eye. I think he was plotting his escape. We foiled his plans, for now. He also has 2 of the prettiest little bottom teeth you have ever seen! (Yes, insert biased opinion). But they are cute, really. His first tooth popped through on Jeff’s birthday, the 16^th of October with the 2^nd coming just 5 days later. He did get a runny nose and ended up getting a cold and his first ear infection. Of course, the doc said it was not related to teething but so many Moms have told me otherwise. I’m just grateful he is feeling much better! That was a rough couple of sad, cranky days. And Caleb was pretty cranku, almost as cranky as me!  Halloween fell right in the middle of his sickness so we opted not to take him out. I did dress him up as a little lion and took some pictures but Grandma stayed home with him and we took Amber to the Trunk or Treat at church.

Caleb continues to eat like a champ and wants anything and everything he sees! If you are holding him while eating he goes right for your plate so you better be careful if you don’t want him to have it! He stole hash browns off of Grandma’s plate at IHOP a couple of weeks ago. He was in the highchair but his little fingers were long enough and fast enough to snatch food off her plate and cram it in his mouth before anything could be done. Really, it was that fast! He also enjoyed a tiny bit of my pancakes, but that was my own doing. And he loved it. Mostly he just sticks to baby food - he loves it! He is even enjoying the green stuff as long as we mix it with something more enjoyable, like peaches. I have an aversion to baby food meat in a jar – ugh it looks and smells like wet cat food!! Caleb is not so sure he likes it either. He continues to wolf down the puffs and mum mums with a passion. Now that he has a couple of teeth you can hear him crunch down and it is precious.

 

We also celebrated my brother Kevin's wedding to Laura. It was a beautiful wedding and I'm pretty sure a great time was had by all! Amber was a junior bridesmaid and she looked so pretty, and grown! :( Laura was radiant and Kevin was as handsome as ever. Caleb looked quite dapper in a plaid button up shirt and black cord pants. At the reception he changed into a tuxedo onesie, he was ready to party! LOL It really was a wonderful time, I know they will make each other happy for a very long time.

 

Well, I'm gonna close this for now because in a couple of weeks it will be time to write the 9mo post.

 

We love you baby boy and am so very thankful that we can call you ours!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one's for you Dad.

10 years. 120 months. 520 weeks. 3650 days. 87600 hours. And I could go on and on. Nearly a 1/3 of my life has been spent without him in my life. I have a hard time fathoming that fact. How did ten years pass by so quickly? How did we make it a decade without him. I do believe the days get easier, but only because the heart, mind, and soul can not possibly survive in the initial place of despair forever. 10 years ago I was living in my little bubble. Our family as a whole had suffered loss, but it had been a few years and things were good. Dad had cut back on his side jobs and was able to spend more time doing things he enjoyed. He had recently lost weight and was feeling great. I know without a doubt the Summer before he died was a special gift from God. He gave us that gift so we would have recent, amazing memories of impromptu fishing trips where he didn't care if he personally caught a thing as long as we were having fun, a special trip to the Asheboro Zoo just cause his baby girl wanted to extend the weekend of Aunt Grace's 100th birthday, celebrating with the Rosage's at their anniversary party, celebrating our Church's 100th anniversary, tossing the softball in the yard and him pretending that my pitches burned his hand.

I only have one regret. Even though I was 22 years old, I wish I had the foresight to ask questions. About his childhood, favorite things, opinions on major topics, his dreams for me, his landscaping ideas, and the list goes on and on and grows daily.

In the past 10 years, I built a house in the field next to their house, also known as "Over the Mill" I got divorced. And in hindsight, he would have been ok with that. He would have worried, but he would have my back all the way.

I met Jeff, tasted true love, got married, gained a beautiful daughter, became a mother. Kevin finished college, began a career that he is passionate about, met a beautiful woman and he too, tasted true love. Dad would be beyond pleased.

I fought through a decade of infertility, he would understand that as well having fought along side Mom for years. Jeff and I began our adoption journey and were blessed beyond measure by Caleb Alexander. Dad would be captivated by his grandchildren. He would be gentle and playful. Perhaps standoffish at first, but he would be their biggest fan, and they would be his. I tell them both of him, and how he would have loved them, how he watched over them. Amber knows she will be able to meet him one day.

 Lots of big life changes in the last ten months, he really should have been here to witness them first hand. But who knows, I might have been to afraid to divorce when I did, afraid to disappoint, which would mean I wouldn't have Jeff, or Amber, or Caleb. Kevin may not have been driven to finish college, which would mean there would be no Laura. His accident could have been God's way of sparing him from being riddled with cancer. He was the only one of his siblings that had not been attacked by this disease, and I don't believe he would have been a good patient. Whatever the reason, it happened. And I believe it helps me to relate to others, be empathetic and understanding, and I am able to use my personal experience to help others in my daily job. I think that would make Dad proud.

I still meet people that knew him directly or indirectly, all have wonderful things to say of him. I think that is an amazing testament to a person. That after all this time, people still talk of his kindness and generosity to others, as well as his knowledge and expertise. I would love to hear him and Jeff talk - two fellow hockyologists.

I wish that he was still here. I wish Mom still had her best friend, her other half. I wish she could find someone to spend time with, not a replacement, just someone to make her feel special and beautiful. A companion. I think Dad would be ok with that too. He would want her to be happy even without him. Caleb has done amazing wonders for her spirit and I am grateful for that. But still.

Dad's life and death has made me who I am today. And I am ok with that.

7 months old!

Caleb actually turned 7 months old 10 days ago, but just now getting a chance to write this post. Had to finish the Texas series of posts before I forgot everything, so here ya go. And, I haven't downloaded this month's pics yet, so I will have to go back and edit this post later with super cute pics. But in the mean time.....

This has been a BIG month in Caleb's life! He has really developed in the last couple of weeks! While in TX, he really tried to start crawling and in about 2 days after being home, he was OFF! Crawling from one end of the house to the other. Well, it kinda looks like a modified Army crawl, but it works for him. My fave is when I open the front door after work and he sees me. He immediately starts squealing and kicking, and rushing to the door to get to me. If he happens to be holding a toy, he doesn't waste time to put it down, he just keeps it in his hand and bangs the floor with it all the way over to me. It's quite the welcome home. He has also been AMAZING in the sleep department! Not only is he continuing to fall asleep easily at night, but he has been sleeping ALL NIGHT LONG! That's right, it has finally happened consistently! Praise the Lord! Such a sweet, happy, easy going fella. If we never have the opportunity to adopt again, I can rest easy knowing that God has already given us the sweetest, happiest, calmest baby boy. What an amazing blessing he is. I am completely and totally in love with him. And I'm certain people are tired of hearing me talk about him, but all I can suggest is  - you might wanna get some earplugs. LOL

Buddy boy LOVES eating, crawling, making funny faces and sounds, working his eyebrows, transferring items from hand to hand, puffs, dehydrated yogurt bites, self feeding of the puffs and yogurt bites, his sissy, Daddy, grandparents, church, watching kitty on the porch, waking up in the morning, his bottle, mirrors, baths, kisses, my rubber cellphone case, and is currently obsessed with Barney!

He is currently 17lbs 6oz - that's a big growth for this month! Wearing size 3 diapers, 6mo clothes (although he can still wear some 3/6mo), eating between 7/8 ounces every 3/4 hours and eating solids 2x a day.

In the last 2 days we have had another big development! After months and months we have finally spotted 2 teeth!!!!! They  are not quite through yet, but we can see the little white peaks just under the gum so it won't be long!

Baby boy, you and sissy are my absolute joy. I'm sorry that I have to go to work everyday and can't be home with you, but you reward me when I come home and we make the most of our evenings together. There is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for you. I want to protect you and keep you safe and secure forever. I thank God that we were chosen to be your parents. I've been sharing your adoption story with you since birth and one day we will be able to talk about it and answer your questions. I hope you will always know that you are loved beyond measure. That you are our miracle, the answer to our prayers. Happy 7mo baby boy, Momma loves you.

Texas Day 4

Day 4 of our Texas trip started with packing and a little light cleaning of our lovely rental house. Somehow things never seem to quite fit back in your suitcase the same way as previously packed. Packing for 2 kids was interesting to say the least. Babies sure do come with a lot of stuff! After we were all packed we headed downtown to meet D., she was going to be our tour guide for the afternoon before we had to catch our flight.

We found a parking garage and waiting a few minutes for her to arrive. I was already feeling sad about saying goodbye to Briana and Noel and was seriously not looking forward to having to say goodbye to D. We had so much history in just 11 short months. I tried to push that aside and make the most of the few hours we had left. We ventured out to find the Alamo. So many people had said that I would be disappointed with the Alamo but I personally thought it was pretty cool. I wish it had been a little less crowded so I could have read all of the little signs and plaques, but I think we got the gist of it. The building is still beautiful even after all these years. We took a self-guided tour, took a few pictures (outside), and headed to the gift shop for some souvenirs.

After the Alamo we continued walking downtown and made our way to the River Walk area. Very cool. Beautiful landscaping along winding bricked walkways on the water. I kept thinking that walk would have taken forever if Dad had been there. He would have wanted to inspect and then teach us about every plant and flower we passed. I wouldn’t have minded though, that would have been time well spent.

We bought tickets for the water taxi tour and we really enjoyed it! Of course, my camera decided to die at that time, so I took zero pictures, but take my word for it, it was really enjoyable. Next we walked a few blocks to the Rainforest Café – a really interesting place for lunch. It is decorated like a huge jungle complete with animatronics and “thunder storms” that come up every 20 minutes. I think it was a little loud for my father in law, but the rest of us enjoyed it. Even Caleb thought the giant gorilla near our table was fun.J

We were quickly running out of time so after lunch we headed back to the garage. And again, we were faced with having to say goodbye. I really didn’t want too. Because, just with Briana, I didn’t know how long it would be before we could see each other again. We hugged, a few times, and promised to keep in touch. My sweet D. means so much to us. We just adore her and her sweet spirit. I wish I could protect her from all the negativity and the things that she is facing. I can’t wait until we can visit again, or maybe next time her and T will come to see us!!

We turned in our cars at the drop-off location and took a shuttle to the airport. I had looked at the tickets and informed everyone we had plenty of time because our flight did not leave until 5:50pm, and it was currently just a little after 4pm. Ummmm, not sure where I got that info from because after we all used the restrooms, and made our way to print our boarding passes and check our luggage I looked again at the times. We were leaving at 4:50 not 5:50!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY Goodness!!!!!! We rushed through security – thank God we had the baby and stroller cause we always got to go through a special line, and then we all rushed to our gate. I almost blew that whole situation and we would have missed our flight! Thankfully, we made it with a few minutes to spare and loaded the plane with no more problems!

Caleb did great on the flight again and just drank his bottle and took a good long nap. We couldn’t have asked for a better flying companion. Amber enjoyed her window seat, especially when it got dark outside and she could see all the pretty lights.

We arrived in Charlotte, had dinner and were passing the time at our gate. It was getting really close to boarding when the attendant made an announcement that the flight from Charlotte to Jacksonville was boarding at E31……not the terminal we had been sitting at for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, so this time it was not my fault!! Our boarding passes confirmed that where we were sitting was correct but the airport had changed the terminal and we had not heard the announcement. So there we were again, about 30 gates away from our boarding plane! We loaded our stuff and started hauling booty to our gate. Mom, Caleb, and I hitched a ride with a security guard so we wouldn’t have to run with the stroller and we made it just in the nick of time! We loaded the plane, strapped our belts and let out a collective sigh of relief.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, located our luggage, drove home, and passed out!!

We all had a wonderful, memorable time but we were all SO glad to be almost HOME!